I believe that from the moment I was born to April 5th, 2009, God had been drawing me to Him. I didn’t deserve it; I was a sinner. On that day, I was finally at a place where I had come to love him more than anything. Swallowing my pride and making it official–no matter how foolish it might appear having grown up in the church–was my way of showing Him.

I am white as snow!

In 2010, God brought my Prince into my life. Actually, he had been there all along; I just hadn’t noticed him because I was going through all my stuff. 🙂 He is God’s gift to me–a man of leadership and servanthood, a man of strength and tenderness, a man of love and faithfulness–a man of God. One year later, we were married.

We went through a lot during our engagement and first year of marriage: illnesses, job losses, newlywed adjustments, family illnesses and deaths. My codependent ways surfaced every now and then. They still do! But thanks to recovery, I noticed them early on and was able to handle things in a healthy way. I can honestly say we’ve grown closer to each other more than we thought possible in two years.

Before getting married, we learned early on that each of us had considered adoption well before meeting each other. Only God can bring two people together who are equally passionate about adoption. 🙂 So several months after we were married, we started our adoption process. During our adoption classes, we saw a picture of five beautiful children who needed a forever family. Four brothers and one sister. We looked at each other and knew God had chosen them for us and us for them. They even looked like us!

As with most adoptions, waiting is the hard part. As a recovering codependent, it took all within me not to try to control or manipulate the process. I would like to say I made it through without any relapses, but I would be lying. I let my anger get the best of me on many occasions. I said yes to many requests from adoption specialists, when I really wanted to say no. I kept silent instead of standing up for my family’s needs. I wanted to be super-woman again–to prove myself to everyone involved. It’s amazing how you think you’re doing great in recovery, and along comes a new situation or experience to let you know that you still have some way to go.

Eventually, I realized my missteps and worked with my husband to respond differently to this new situation in our lives. We are truly a healthy couple! 😀

On August 29th of 2012, we adopted three of the five siblings. The older two children were adopted by their foster parent. It wasn’t the perfect picture I envisioned, but I now see it was perfect for our family–and for theirs.

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