Book Review: Still Looking by Vicki Huffman
When I first submitted my family’s unemployment story to Vicki Huffman, I offered to write a review of her book once it was completed. Only God knew the reason and the season in which I would need to read the inspirational words in Still Looking: Finding the Peace of God in Job Loss.
When I received Vicki’s book to review several months later, my husband had been once again laid off for no fault of his own. Already, four weeks had passed since the day he showed up for work at his industrial construction job on a Monday morning and everyone had been let go. We were just starting to go through the familiar emotional, practical, and even spiritual fallouts of losing a job when I received the book. As I read through her family’s struggles with job loss—eight in all, I kept tapping the pages of my electronic book reader, saying:
“Yes! That’s exactly how I feel. That’s exactly how my husband is responding.”
Vicki was able to tap into those feelings not only from her own family’s experiences but also by citing renowned psychologists, experts, and everyday people who had the dubious honor of being unemployed at one time or another. She compared unemployment and job loss to the stages of grief and how those who are unemployed—for whatever reason—face similar feelings as those who have experienced loss of any kind—health death, divorce, to name a few. Vicki walks readers through the stages of grief, helping them to see the connections with job loss and how they eventually can move forward with the help of God.
As I read Still Looking, I began to see stages of grief in my own life—but for different reasons. Last year, I resigned from my corporate job at a Fortune 500 company to become a stay-at-home mom of our three children whom we adopted. Although a joyous occasion for my husband and me—and for our children, I felt the loss of fellowship with coworkers, usefulness and productivity that come from completing projects, and the accolades that accompany great work. I was able to see and work through these issues by reading Vicki’s book. She also helped me to understand the pros and cons of women working outside or inside the home, depending on their circumstances.
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In addition to the emotional issues accompanying unemployment, Vicki offered practical and spiritual insight for times of job loss. She gave tips on how spouses can help and affirm each other during unemployment. As I re-read our own stories that we submitted to Vicki, it reminded me of the many ways my husband and I have supported each other during these times and how we can continue to do so.
Still Looking is filled with practical and spiritual insight on how to spend time during job loss, as well as other considerations that accompany unemployment, such as the possibilities of relocating and self-employment. Vicki also offers a unique perspective for those who are older and find themselves unemployed.
I especially liked the “P.S.—Post Job Script” sections that summarized each chapter and provided practical tips on how to move forward in recovery from unemployment. The “Peace to You” sections encouraged me with biblical passages and reminders of the peace of God when money is tight.
Oftentimes, books on difficult subjects tend to provide trite answers. Not so with Still Looking. It is fresh and original; Vicki Huffman has been there and she gets it.
From beginning to end, Vicki shows the joys of growing closer to God during times of financial strain. She is a great example of finding true peace during unemployment.
If I had one critique, it would be this: I would have liked for the book to include a set of study questions, whether at the end of each chapter or at the end of the book. That way, readers could work through the issues in each chapter more readily.
Regardless, I highly recommend Vicki Huffman’s Still Looking: Finding the Peace of God in Job Loss. It is a great tool to help readers through the valleys of unemployment—not once, but as in our case, several times. Still Looking is ideal for anyone who has a job and feels like it may be time to move on to another job or season in life, or they sense that unemployment might be imminent. It is a great resource for Bible study groups; readers can use it by themselves, with a mentor or counselor, or in a small group format. People in recovery groups also could benefit from it. The book also would be a great gift for someone working through issues of financial struggle.
Still Looking: Finding the Peace of God in Job Loss is available on Amazon (affiliate link).
Be blessed!
Come alongside… Have you experienced job loss? How have you dealt with it? Share in the comments below.
10 Benefits of Friends
So I was thinking about my friends and how much I cherish each one of them. Though I love them and thank God for them, I haven’t spent much time with them lately. It’s so easy for me to stay indoors, not talk to anyone, and be a loner. To be and have a friend takes time, effort, and risks. But, oh, the benefits! Here are ten:
Encouragement
So cheer each other up with the hope you have. Build each other up. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Let us not give up meeting together. Some are in the habit of doing this. Instead, let us cheer each other up with words of hope. Let us do it all the more as you see the day coming when Christ will return. (Hebrews 10:25)
Help
So Joshua fought against the Amalekites, just as Moses had ordered. Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held his hands up, the Israelites were winning. But every time he lowered his hands, the Amalekites began to win. When Moses’ arms got tired, Aaron and Hur got a stone and put it under him. Then he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up. Aaron was on one side, and Hur was on the other. Moses’ hands remained steady until sunset. So Joshua destroyed the Amalekite army with swords. (Exodus 17:10-13)
Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him! (Ecclesiastes 4:10)
Teammate
Two people are better than one. They can help each other in everything they do. (Ecclesiastes 4:9)
Compassion
Or suppose two people lie down together. Then they’ll keep warm. But how can one person keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4:11)
Fight for and defend each other
One person could be overpowered. But two people can stand up for themselves. And a rope made out of three cords isn’t easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
Unconditional Love
A friend loves at all times. He is there to help when trouble comes. (Proverbs 17:17)
Loyalty
Don’t desert your friend or your father’s friend. And don’t go to your family when trouble strikes you. A neighbor nearby is better than a family member far away. (Proverbs 27:10)
Saul told his son Jonathan and all of the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan liked David very much. So Jonathan warned him, “My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be very careful tomorrow morning. Find a place to hide and stay there. My father and I will come and stand in the field where you are hiding. I’ll speak to him about you. Then I’ll tell you what I find out.” (1 Samuel 19:1-3)
Sacrifice
Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David. He also gave him his military clothes. He even gave him his sword, his bow and his belt. (1 Samuel 18:4)
Prayer partners
Again, here is what I tell you. Suppose two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for. My Father in heaven will do it for you. Where two or three people meet together in my name, I am there with them. (Matthew 18:19-20)
They all came together regularly to pray. The women joined them too. So did Jesus’ mother Mary and his brothers. (Acts 1:14)
Sharing life together
The believers studied what the apostles taught. They shared life together. They broke bread and ate together. And they prayed. (Acts 2:42)
After reading this, I missing some of my friends even more. I think I’ll give them a call. How about you?
Come alongside… Which one of these benefits resonates with you most? Which one are you needing most right now? What can you do about it? Which friend can you reach out to and how? Would you share any other benefits of being and having friends? Would you consider passing this blog post to your family and friends?
Miley, The Morning After
I didn’t catch the Video Music Awards (VMAs), but after all the chatter the morning after, curiosity got the best of me. So I headed over to YouTube to find out what all the fuss was about. (No, I’m not going to link to it.)
After my eyes and heart recovered from Miley Cyrus’ highly inappropriate dance routine in front of millions of people—children included, the thousands of comments from viewers and readers made sense.
Many comments, in my opinion, were as distasteful as Miley’s performance itself. But as I wrote in my post about Whitney Houston, we’re all some version of Miley, whether we admit it or not.
How many times have we made irrational decisions? Choices that seemed fun at the moment, but the morning after, maybe even hours or seconds after, felt regret, guilt, and shame.
- Erupting in anger.
- Pulling up the porn just one more time.
- Binging on fat-laden foods.
- Downing just one more drink.
- Having just one more affair.
- Telling a “little white lie.”
I myself have plopped my face into my hands the morning after saying, “What the H-E-double hockey sticks was I thinking?”
Miley Cyrus might not be saying that just yet, but I assure you: In time, she will. We all will.
We all seek that one thing that will make us feel alive—truly free. And not just free for a moment, but free for a lifetime. We can’t find it on a stage in front of millions of people or in the corner of a dark room with nothing but our conscience. We find it in Jesus.
Jesus is what we’re all looking for. Jesus is the only one who grants us freedom with open arms. We won’t be perfect, by any means, and consequences surely will follow. But when we can grasp that He loves us and He delights in us—His beautiful creations, we have no need for the harmful anger, the porn, the binging, the drinks, the affairs, the lies, or the inappropriate dance routines. We know He loves us! And that’s all that matters.
The night before—and the morning after.
Come alongside… When have you made a poor decision? How did you feel afterward? How did you recover? Remember, you can post anonymously.
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Encouragement RoundUp
Hi, readers!
I hope you’ve been doing well.
I’ve been reading some great articles lately. Here are a few I thought I’d pass along to you.
- In “Chili and God’s Grace,” Cole Huffman reminded me of the many ways that we can be a blessing to others even when they don’t deserve it.
- Rita Schulte encouraged me not to hide my story but to “Turn a Hot Mess into a Powerful Message.”
- April P. repeated what I know well but sometimes forget. Read her article, “Swarm of Pain.”
- In “Grace for the Grouch,” Karen Wingate reminded me that although I sometimes come in contact with grouches, many times, I am the grouch.
- Joy DeKok’s “A Cuppa Coffee” reminded me of my early years as a coffee-drinker. Lovely piece.
- Rachel Wojnarowski “What Happens When You Have to Step Back” reminds me that reverse isn’t always negative.
- Jann Cobb tells us why dentists are “A Little Bit of a Distraction.”
I hope you will check these out and pass them along to your friends and family. Good stuff here!
Blessings,
Daphne
P.S. – Continue to pray for me as I write my book. Slowly but surely. 😉
NEWS: Recent articles, Speaking Invitations, Podcasts, and a Book Contract
Hello, dear ones!
I hope you are doing well and enjoying the many blessings of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Isn’t God great? 🙂
He certainly has been good to me. Here is an update on all that’s been going on… and there’s lots!
Recent Articles and Guest Posts
God has blessed me with opportunities to write for various magazines and blogs. Here is a list of my recent articles. I hope you’ll check them out:
“You are Welcome Here”
- Family Recovery, July 2013.
“Gentle on the Hair”
- Mentoring Moments for Christian Women, June 2013.
“My Drastic Estate”
- The Gabriel, Spring-Summer 2013 (page 16).
Speaking Invitations
Several weeks ago, the Celebrate Recovery Pastor at Bell Shoals Baptist Church (BSBC) in Brandon, Florida, invited me to speak at their Celebrate Recovery program. I was so honored by their invitation to share my testimony with them. They have a great group of participants–so welcoming and transparent. I felt very much at home! I hope and trust that my story–God’s story in my life–helped even one person in the room. A very special thank you to all who came out to support me.
Podcasts
I will be podcasting soon! I’ll send you more information about it as the date gets closer. I plan to record some posts, as well as interview others and provide you with other tools to comfort–and empower–you on your journey. I can’t wait.
and last, but certainly not least…
Book Contract
You might know I’ve been wanting to write a book for some time now. I’ve had articles included in anthologies alongside great writers, for which I’m grateful. From the time God placed the desire in my heart to write a book, I’ve known what I wanted to write about. After working some time on a book proposal this year–and I mean, for some time, I finally sent it out. I was surprised, to say the least, to hear from them so soon, but elated with their response:
This is exactly the kind of manuscripts that we are looking to get into our lineup and market. There are so many women that could benefit from this, and we are 100% on board.
Isn’t God great? 🙂
I am beyond ecstatic about this. In the days before I heard back from them, I prayed to God and told him I turned it all over to Him. If it wasn’t His plan, to close the door. If it was His plan, to make it obvious and to work it all out for me in such a way that I–and everyone–would know that only God could pull it off. He has! My heart rejoices with the Love of my Father.
So… You’re probably wondering the type of book. For now, I’ll just say that it’s an inspirational book for hurting women. God willing, I plan to have the book ready by year-end. I know that’s soon, but if it’s God’s will, He will make a way. If not, then we’ll plan for next year.
Isn’t God great? 🙂
I want to thank you for your ongoing support and encouragement. I appreciate your emails, your “likes,” comments, forwards, tweets, stumbles, and all your interactions–not only with me but with each other. God keeps showing me, especially on those days I question myself, that I’m on the right path. So, thank you!
Please let me know how I can pray for you. I want to join with you for those things that weigh heavily on your heart.
Many blessings and hugs,
Daphne