Relapse Ain’t Got Nothin’ on My Recovery Group
Hi, friends!
Let’s talk recovery. More specifically, relapse.
We see it over and over again on the news, mainly with celebrities whose relapse into addictions and unhealthy behaviors results in death. Singer Whitney Houston comes to mind. Just this week, actor Philip Seymour Hoffman died after being clean more than two decades. He relapsed last year.
This isn’t just about celebrities. We see relapse more and more in the lives of those around us—family, friends, acquaintances, even people at church. We might be the ones in relapse.
I’ve relapsed.
This past year has been incredibly difficult for me: Emotional stress, financial issues, and tense relationships. Like others in recovery, I’ve had a hard time not falling back into old habits when I face triggers. I’ve had some missteps–even skidding back to square one in several areas. I’ll be honest: I wasn’t practicing what I wrote two years ago about preventing and reversing relapse:
- Reflect
- Expose your triggers and plan your escape strategies
- Look up and re-learn scripture passages
- Activate your accountability partners
- Pray, pray, pray
- Share your story
- Evaluate regularly
(You can find more detailed explanations about each of these tips in part one and part two from 2012.)
One thing has been important for me to step back onto–and stay on–my recovery path:
I started attending weekly recovery group meetings again.
Recovery groups aren’t just for people who struggle with drugs or alcohol. Recovery groups are for people who struggle with anger, codependency, food addictions, workaholism, pornography addictions, fear and worry, trust, and so much more. People like me and possibly you.
I made a lot of progress when I was attending group, so I didn’t see the need to keep going once I was “better.” Now I remember why it’s important to attend my recovery group regularly. I have people who hold me accountable. They don’t judge me, criticize me, or look at me any differently when I make a bad choice. They listen, understand, and love me no matter what. My recovery group keeps me from relapsing. They are my family.
Attending weekly also helps me to live consistently, my word for this year.
I don’t know why I ever stopped attending. 😉
Today, I encourage you: If you’re struggling to stay on your recovery path–or if you’re already on an unhealthy and destructive path, find a recovery group in your area. Celebrate Recovery is a great place to get connected. You’ll meet with others who will walk with you, encourage you, and love you.
Two people are better than one. They can help each other in everything they do. Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him! Or suppose two people lie down together. Then they’ll keep warm. But how can one person keep warm alone? One person could be overpowered. But two people can stand up for themselves. And a rope made out of three cords isn’t easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
Don’t go it alone. Relapse ain’t got nothin’ on recovery groups!*
Come alongside… Are you staying on track in your recovery? Have you taken steps back? What can you do to get back on the right path? Share with us in the comments below. Remember, you can comment anonymously.
*Note: I don’t mean to minimize addiction by saying it’s easy to recover by solely attending recovery groups. Other resources and treatments might be necessary to address recovery. Recovery groups are just one component to address recovery, relapse, and addictive behaviors.
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Miley, The Morning After
I didn’t catch the Video Music Awards (VMAs), but after all the chatter the morning after, curiosity got the best of me. So I headed over to YouTube to find out what all the fuss was about. (No, I’m not going to link to it.)
After my eyes and heart recovered from Miley Cyrus’ highly inappropriate dance routine in front of millions of people—children included, the thousands of comments from viewers and readers made sense.
Many comments, in my opinion, were as distasteful as Miley’s performance itself. But as I wrote in my post about Whitney Houston, we’re all some version of Miley, whether we admit it or not.
How many times have we made irrational decisions? Choices that seemed fun at the moment, but the morning after, maybe even hours or seconds after, felt regret, guilt, and shame.
- Erupting in anger.
- Pulling up the porn just one more time.
- Binging on fat-laden foods.
- Downing just one more drink.
- Having just one more affair.
- Telling a “little white lie.”
I myself have plopped my face into my hands the morning after saying, “What the H-E-double hockey sticks was I thinking?”
Miley Cyrus might not be saying that just yet, but I assure you: In time, she will. We all will.
We all seek that one thing that will make us feel alive—truly free. And not just free for a moment, but free for a lifetime. We can’t find it on a stage in front of millions of people or in the corner of a dark room with nothing but our conscience. We find it in Jesus.
Jesus is what we’re all looking for. Jesus is the only one who grants us freedom with open arms. We won’t be perfect, by any means, and consequences surely will follow. But when we can grasp that He loves us and He delights in us—His beautiful creations, we have no need for the harmful anger, the porn, the binging, the drinks, the affairs, the lies, or the inappropriate dance routines. We know He loves us! And that’s all that matters.
The night before—and the morning after.
Come alongside… When have you made a poor decision? How did you feel afterward? How did you recover? Remember, you can post anonymously.
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I am like Whitney
I didn’t believe it when I first heard the news early this week, but alas, it was true: Whitney Houston was dead. I tried to keep it together, but I admit: I cried–a lot. She was my favorite singer growing up. I wanted to be–and sing–like Whitney. What girl in the ’80s and ’90s didn’t?
I’m not sure how or why her life ended so soon. But as I thought about her life, I was saddened. What made it worse were comments from people who were quick to judge her and her actions.
Dear friend, please hear my heart…
- We all have issues.
- We all sin.
- Whitney was no exception.
- Neither am I.
- Neither are you.
God has used my life experiences–good and bad–to show me one life-changing Truth.
- Any person can make unhealthy choices.
- Any person can make a mistake.
- Any person can fall.
- I can be that person.
What separates my life from Whitney’s?
- The cameras.
- The tabloids.
- The news.
Her private mistakes were made public. Her unhealthy choices were publicized for the world to see. Her addictions were on the little screen and on the front pages of newspapers and magazines.
What about me? My mistakes? My unhealthy choices? My addictions? They remain mine and mine alone–hidden from view of the world, my workplace, my church, my friends, and even my family. I am no better, no worse than Whitney. It just so happens that my issues are not on display for the world to see. Nor would I want them to be.
Dear one, I don’t want to judge others. I don’t want to pick on them, jump on their failures, or criticize their faults (Matthew 7:1-6). Instead, I pray for God to have mercy on me, for I–like Whitney–am a sinner (Luke 18:9-14). I–like Whitney–need Jesus to remove the deep stain of all my sins–public and private. I need to be as clean as freshly-fallen snow (Isaiah 1:18).
We are all like Whitney. But this I know… Jesus loves Whitneys.
Come alongside… Have you been judged? Have you judged others? How do you feel when you hear that we all have issues and are all sinners? What sins do you need to confess today? Can you accept that Jesus loves you? He does, you know…
