7 Questions for When You Want to Stand Up for Your Beliefs
Hi, friends!
Ever have to stand up for what you believe, knowing it might cost you something?
- A relationship
- A job
- Your freedom
- Your life
Standing up for your convictions can be difficult, especially when you’re codependent.
Recently, I wrestled with this very issue. And when I say I wrestled with it, I mean I thought of it during the day and dreamed about it at night.
I had no clue I was walking into a situation that was against my beliefs, but when confronted with it, I wanted out.
The codependent side of me, however, crawled up my arm, propped itself onto my shoulder, inched up to my ear, and whispered its oh-too-familiar lies.
You’ll disappoint everyone.
What will they say?
They won’t talk to you again, they won’t want anything to do with you, they’ll talk behind your back. They’ll say you’re weak.
You think you’re all that—holier than everyone else. You’re nothing. You’re a disappointment—even to yourself.
The enemy sure knows my insecurities! He can prick any of these issues and usually get a reaction out of me.
I knew right from wrong, and I wasn’t afraid to say so—tactfully, of course. I didn’t point fingers. I didn’t judge. I simply said I couldn’t participate, and I said why.
Did my voice waver? Sure it did. Was I nervous? You bet!
But I did it: I stood up for my beliefs.
Their response? Cricket. Cricket. But… it didn’t matter—not then, not now.
I knew who I wanted to please—and I followed through. (Wish I could always say that!)
Am I now trying to get people to think well of me? Or do I want God to think well of me? Am I trying to please people? If I were, I would not be serving Christ. (Galatians 1:10)
For me, it was either please God or please others, not both.
As I think about what happened, I now see seven questions that could help me make the right choice next time. I hope these seven questions help you too.
1. How am I feeling?
When something triggers our convictions, our conscience sends up red flags. Our palms sweat, our heart races, and we feel tingling in our armpits (or is that just me?). If we’re showing physical signs of excitement, we’re already not thinking clearly because our emotions are taking over. That’s when we’re more likely to react and make a rash decision (Mark 6:22). Being aware of our emotions when confronted with a compromising situation helps us to step back before making a wrong decision.
2. How does this issue or situation line up with what I believe?
Although few things in life are black and white, there are absolutes. God’s word is absolute. When we use the Bible to define right and wrong, we’ll know when we face something that goes against our beliefs. Even if the Bible doesn’t address an issue specifically, we can still apply Biblical principles to our decision-making to help us align with God’s definitions of right and wrong. Knowing our boundaries and committing to them ahead of time is essential. Decisions made on the spot tend to miss God’s mark (Matthew 26:69-75).
3. Am I feeling pressured to compromise?
When we’re surrounded by people who disagree with our beliefs—whether in words or actions, it’s tempting to go along with them. Peer pressure does exist, but it’s usually not as obvious as in childhood. (Thank goodness!) Indirect peer pressure is more common among adults. It’s also more subtle. If we’re not careful, our silence can signal acceptance. Remember, appeasing others displeases God (Mark 15:1-15).
4. Am I pressuring myself?
Oftentimes, others don’t pressure us; we pressure ourselves. Although we know right from wrong, we reason that if we follow others, we’ll finally belong. But if we stand up, we risk standing alone. Isolation is scary because God made us for relationship—with Him. When we believe that the Lord our God made us to belong to Him, not to anyone else, we know that even if we stand alone, we are never alone. We have Him. He has us. The pressure we place on ourselves to belong to others ignores the fact that we are already His (Psalm 73:23-26).
5. Who can my decision impact?
When we compromise our beliefs, we’re not the only ones to feel the results. Our families, friends, even fellow believers can suffer because of our hasty decisions (Exodus 34:5-7). Our life will look different after our fateful choice—for better or worse. Our words and actions will either build up others or tear them down. They’ll either spread the hope of God or hinder His work. Our words can give life or death (Proverbs 18:21). Our split-second decisions can confuse or even tempt others to do the same (Romans 14:21; 15:1-2; 1 Corinthians 8:13).
6. Who will I please?
Before receiving Jesus into our lives, we made decisions based on our own judgment or that of others. When we became Christians, we gave Jesus our allegiance (2 Timothy 2:4). When we do what He says is right, instead of what feels right, we please Him (Romans 8:8). We yield ourselves to His desires, His interests, His definitions of right and wrong. Basically, we do what He wants us to do. Even Christ did not please himself; instead, He did whatever pleased the Father (John 8:28-29; Romans 15:3). We follow His example.
7. How can I show God’s love?
Choosing to do what’s right, instead of what’s popular, doesn’t mean we have to be obnoxious, judgmental, or rude. We can make our decision and, if necessary, state our reason, all the while showing the gentleness of our example, Jesus Christ. When we make the right choice but express it in the wrong way, we accomplish the opposite of what God wants—for all to see Jesus through us and be drawn to Him now and for all eternity (Proverbs 12:18; 13:3; Colossians 4:6).
I slept soundly that night. Having a clear conscience has a way of doing that. The truth always sets us free (John 8:32).
Finally, brothers and sisters, we taught you how to live in a way that pleases God. In fact, that is how you are living. In the name of the Lord Jesus we ask and beg you to do it more and more. (1 Thessalonians 4:1)
Come alongside… Have you ever had to stand up for your beliefs? How did it go? If you haven’t had to stand up for your beliefs, what do you think would be most difficult for you? How can you prepare in the event that you will have to do so in the future? Tell us about it below in the box that says, “Leave a Reply.”
5 Steps to Clear Your Head
I wrote yesterday.
That might not mean much—after all, I’m writing right now—but it does mean a lot to me: I wrote in my journal.
It’s been awhile since I journaled.
Hmm… Is it still journaling if it was on a napkin?
Anyway… I needed to clear my head. Lots of stuff has been bouncing around in there, getting tangled up, setting up camp, you name it.
So I took pen to napkin and began clearing my head. And guess what…
I’m feeling much better!
Do you need to clear your head? Are you feeling…
- Confused?
- Stressed?
- Frenzied?
- Boxed in?
- Chaotic?
I encourage you to put pen to paper—or napkin—or whatever writing surface you can find. It might be tempting to skip the writing part. But resist! Don’t discount the power of writing things down. Writing through your chaos can be a healing tool.
Here are five steps to C.L.E.A.R your head.
Come away.
You can’t clear your head if you’re surrounded by confusion. So take some time—even five-or-ten-minute increments—to come away to a place that helps you to clear your head. Yesterday, it was my bed. For you, it could be a favorite chair or a spot on a lake, or if you’re a mom, it could just be the bathroom. Regardless, to clear your head of all the confusion, physically remove yourself from all that’s probably getting you in a frenzy in the first place. Remember this: “God is not a god of confusion but a God of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33a).
Listen to God.
If you’re feeling confused, there might be some internal struggles going on, which can leave you pulled in all directions. When you come away and listen to God—truly listen—with your heart, He will show you the source of the confusion. God can speak to you in many ways; in my experience, His silent whisper speaks loudest. So ask Him to show you. James 1:5 says, “If you need wisdom — if you want to know what God wants you to do — ask Him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking.”
Empty your feelings and sins.
Once you’ve come away and listened to God about the source of your confusion, empty yourself of all your feelings and any sins. God doesn’t want you to stuff your feelings. He wants you to share them freely with the One who created all feelings. Once you share your feelings with Him, you can more clearly see how you’ve gone wrong—or sinned—against Him. Then you can confess and ask His forgiveness. Remember: “God is faithful and fair. If we admit that we have sinned, he will forgive us our sins. He will forgive every wrong thing we have done. He will make us pure.” (1 John 1:9)
Affirm God’s peace.
Words can kill or they can give life (Proverbs 18:21). When you feel confused, affirming God’s peace in your life through writing will breathe life into your spirit. When you talk—and listen—to God, you will replace worry and “experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”(Philippians 4:6-7). Affirm His peace in your spirit.
Repeat as necessary.
Chances are you’ll need to clear your head again—maybe for the same reasons or for other situations entirely. Regardless, with all the craziness in this world, your spirit likely will long for peace regularly. Continue in these things: Come away, Listen to God, Empty your feelings and sins, Affirm God’s peace, and Repeat. Be intentional about it.
You can C.L.E.A.R. it!
Come alongside… Do you need to clear your head? What strategies do you use? Have you considered writing through your chaos? How can these tips help you today and in the future? Share your comments with us in the box below.
Shine, Jesus, Shine!
I was reading in the book of Daniel this morning–the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. If you don’t know the story, three Hebrew boys refuse to bow down to the King’s gold statue, so King Neb (as I like to call him) throws them in a furnace. Ultimately, God saves the three boys for putting Him first and refusing to bow to any idols.
Although I’ve known this story since I was a little girl, something stood out to me this time.
Society daily prompts us to take our eyes off Jesus. The pressures of “Everybody’s doing it” or “Everybody has it” might be glaringly obvious or way more subtle. One thing’s for sure, practically anything has a potential to become an idol, and the attractiveness of it gleams brightly—just like the gold statue. It was ninety feet tall and nine feet wide. We don’t have gold statues hanging around our homes, but we might have other things that could very easily gleam as brightly:
- Food
- Technology
- Relationships
- Cars
- Movies, songs, and other forms of entertainment
- Dare I say, social media.
Unlike the gold statue, these “things” aren’t necessarily evil. In fact, I like these “things.” I’m sure you do too. But liking and worshiping are two different things.
- Could it be that we are knowingly–or unknowingly—giving in to peer pressure, diverting our eyes off Jesus, and fixing them onto these not-so-obvious shiny idols?
- Could it be that the lures of the “new and improved,” “the latest and greatest,” and “constant connectivity” have so captivated us that although we focus more and more of our attention on them, we still can’t seem to fill the longing inside of us?
Our idols may gleam for a while, dear one, but inevitably, they start to lose their luster. For some of us, we may already see their brightness disappearing. I’m sure the gold statue didn’t shine brightly for long.
Let us vow not to bow except to the One who deserves all our adoration and admiration—Jesus. He might not be popular, but He alone deserves our ultimate attention and affection. He is our light (Psalm 27:1), and He outshines anything that threatens to take His place (Psalm 76:4). Jesus will never lose His luster–He will be our everlasting light (Isaiah 60:19). Jesus—only Jesus—is bright and beautiful (2 Corinthians 4:6, Psalm 80:19). Jesus—“the brightness of the Father’s glory” (Hebrews 1:3).
Jesus–the Light of the world (John 9:5).
Shine, Jesus, shine!
Come alongside… What idol has your attention lately? What steps will you take to refocus and worship Jesus, the Light of the world? Thoughts?
Kissing my bad habits goodbye
Thank you to everyone who replied to my latest poll, “Can you really get rid of bad habits?” We had a lot of discussion and great comments.
Overall, you said that most habits can die. And I agree! In fact, I believe that all bad habits can die.
I don’t have scientific evidence to support that–but I don’t need it. That’s why I have faith–faith in the all-powerful God who has freed me from my bad habits:
- Addictions.
- Perfectionism.
- Workaholism.
- People-pleasing.
- And more.
When I have laid these habits at the cross of Jesus–without taking them back again, He supernaturally erases those desires and tendencies so I can live in joyous freedom.
Some bad habits are so strong that I keep taking them back again and again. Part of my problem is that I put myself in situations that make it easier for my bad habits to resurface.
- Relationships.
- Friendships.
- Even the computer.
Truth is: I can feed my bad habits, or I can starve them. I can go back to the same routines, or I can replace them with better habits–habits that give life–not death. Every time I fail to create healthy habits, I put myself at risk.
When a defiling evil spirit is expelled from someone, it drifts along through the desert looking for an oasis, some unsuspecting soul it can bedevil. When it doesn’t find anyone, it says, ‘I’ll go back to my old haunt.’ On return it finds the person spotlessly clean, but vacant. It then runs out and rounds up seven other spirits more evil than itself and they all move in, whooping it up. That person ends up far worse off than if he’d never gotten cleaned up in the first place (Matthew 12:43-45).
I don’t have to put myself at risk. When I’m tempted, I can call upon God. He will help me day-by-day, and many times, even moment-by-moment.
But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it (1 Corinthians 10:13).
In the end, I will be free, and whom God sets free is free indeed (John 8:36).
Goodbye, bad habits!
Come alongside: How about you? Do you relate? Which bad habits have you replaced with good habits? With whom can you share this good news today?
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I am like Whitney
I didn’t believe it when I first heard the news early this week, but alas, it was true: Whitney Houston was dead. I tried to keep it together, but I admit: I cried–a lot. She was my favorite singer growing up. I wanted to be–and sing–like Whitney. What girl in the ’80s and ’90s didn’t?
I’m not sure how or why her life ended so soon. But as I thought about her life, I was saddened. What made it worse were comments from people who were quick to judge her and her actions.
Dear friend, please hear my heart…
- We all have issues.
- We all sin.
- Whitney was no exception.
- Neither am I.
- Neither are you.
God has used my life experiences–good and bad–to show me one life-changing Truth.
- Any person can make unhealthy choices.
- Any person can make a mistake.
- Any person can fall.
- I can be that person.
What separates my life from Whitney’s?
- The cameras.
- The tabloids.
- The news.
Her private mistakes were made public. Her unhealthy choices were publicized for the world to see. Her addictions were on the little screen and on the front pages of newspapers and magazines.
What about me? My mistakes? My unhealthy choices? My addictions? They remain mine and mine alone–hidden from view of the world, my workplace, my church, my friends, and even my family. I am no better, no worse than Whitney. It just so happens that my issues are not on display for the world to see. Nor would I want them to be.
Dear one, I don’t want to judge others. I don’t want to pick on them, jump on their failures, or criticize their faults (Matthew 7:1-6). Instead, I pray for God to have mercy on me, for I–like Whitney–am a sinner (Luke 18:9-14). I–like Whitney–need Jesus to remove the deep stain of all my sins–public and private. I need to be as clean as freshly-fallen snow (Isaiah 1:18).
We are all like Whitney. But this I know… Jesus loves Whitneys.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHm9Ggdanyo
Come alongside… Have you been judged? Have you judged others? How do you feel when you hear that we all have issues and are all sinners? What sins do you need to confess today? Can you accept that Jesus loves you? He does, you know…
