Got Questions While You’re Safer-at-Home? Me Too. (pt4)
Hi, friends!
How long have you been safer-at-home during this Covid-19 pandemic? Me? Since early-March. So about 10 weeks–I think. 😮 Wasn’t it the group Chicago who sang, “Does anybody really know what time it is?”
My routines are still going well. Sometimes too well. I might need to shake things up a bit. 😉 Do you also feel like you’re in the Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell movie “Groundhog Day“?
Mental health triggers have been minimal–partly due to distancing myself from too much news media (My apologies to fellow journalists and media industry friends.)
I’ve actually enjoyed not being as busy as I was prior to all this–and even at the beginning of staying at home, when I filled our time with activities and games.
This fourth question has been swirling in my head these last few weeks. Ready?
Here goes…
4. How am I staying connected?
- Can I safely volunteer?
- Can I safely help those with special needs–the elderly, immunosuppressed, etc.?
- Can I safely attend community events?
Not so much. 🙁
All around us, the message has been social distancing, so most people have stayed home. As weeks have turned to months, the message has evolved to physical distancing–not necessarily social distancing. More and more, it’s becoming evident that connection is important to mental, emotional, cultural, spiritual–and even physical–health.
Have you ever seen that reality TV show, “Alone“? It’s on the History Channel. Ten participants are dropped off at a significant distance from each other on a remote location around the world. The purpose? To see who could last the longest. They bring only 10 items to help them survive in the wilderness. They’re provided with camera equipment and a satellite-operated communication device that they can use to “tap out” of the competition, at which time a helicopter or boat will arrive at their tracked location to take them home. My family and I love this reality show! (We’re excited about the new season in June.)
From having watched six seasons of “Alone” throughout the years, we’ve determined that more often than not, it’s not the lack of survival skills that makes someone tap out; it’s the isolation from family, friends, and loved ones–people in general. Even $500,000–the grand prize to the last contestant on the island–isn’t enough to keep contestants in the game. The desire to connect is that strong. Some have even constructed toy people or animals out of whatever they can find to have some sort of companionship. (Think Wilson in the Tom Hanks movie “Cast Away.”) Despite the best of intentions, promoting prolonged isolation can have negative effects on our very being. Click To Tweet
God created us to connect and to be in relationship–with Him and with each other. Even as early as the Garden of Eden, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Here are some other examples from the Bible about God’s design for community.
Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)
From Ecclesiastes 7 Again I saw something on earth that didn’t mean anything.
8 A man lived all by himself. He didn’t have any sons or brothers. His hard work never ended. But he wasn’t happy with what he had. “Who am I working so hard for?” he asked. “Why don’t I get the things I enjoy?” That doesn’t have any meaning either. In fact, it’s a very bad deal!
9 Two people are better than one. They can help each other in everything they do.
10 Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him!
11 Or suppose two people lie down together. Then they’ll keep warm. But how can one person keep warm alone?
12 One person could be overpowered. But two people can stand up for themselves. And a rope made out of three cords isn’t easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:7-12)
Pre-COVID-19, I stayed connected by:
- Volunteering on the tech crew at my church, Lakes Church
- Singing with the community choral group, Lakeland Choral Society
- Visiting my elderly parents in their independent living community
- Joining my closest girlfriends for breakfast the first Saturday of the month
I haven’t been able to do any of those things in the past ten weeks. But I have:
- Called or texted those I haven’t talked to in a while
- Added video to conference calls
- Waved at our mailman from inside the house every day
- Watched live concerts from around the world online
- Joined my friend and fellow blogger, Kim Wilbanks, on her Facebook live tea times
Friends, connection isn’t just for the benefit of others. It’s for us too! We might think we don’t need it and that we’re doing it to help someone else. That might be true. But we’re also doing it for ourselves. And for those of us who are believers, we do it for God.
Take a few moments to listen to one of my favorites, Superchick’s “We Live.”
Stay safe and healthy!
Big hugs, Daphne
Come alongside… In what ways have you felt distant during this pandemic? What have you done to increase face-to-face or voice-to-voice activity? How has someone made an effort to connect with you during this time? How has staying connected helped you? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Got Questions While You’re Safer-at-Home? Me Too. (pt2)
Hi, friends!
How are you doing? No, really–How are you?
To be more specific, how are you really handling this Covid-19 pandemic?
In my previous post, we talked about daily routines. How are you doing with yours? (In case you haven’t noticed, I’m one of those people who asks how you’re doing and really wants to know the answer.) 🙂 Are you sticking to as many of your routines as possible during this safer-at-home time? If not, head over to part 1 of this blog series to read some of the ways our family is maintaining some sense of normalcy while we’re practicing social distancing and doing our best to slow the spread of the virus. I also have some encouragement for you with Scripture verses and a song to add to your playlist. I also received great feedback in the comments! Feel free to add yours.
In this post, I’ll share question two.
Here goes…
2. What am I struggling with most right now??
- What is triggering me?
- How am I coping with added stress?
- Am I distancing and redirecting as necessary?
A couple weeks ago, though, anxiety had crept in and slumped on my chest when the numbers in our state and county started to increase dramatically. The pressure was so bad I burst into tears and hid in my room for a bit. I was thankful for my hubby who slid the pocket door to our bedroom shut and lay on the bed next to me. His presence alone calmed me.
After some introspection and trying to pinpoint when I started to feel even the slightest panic, I uncovered the source: The news. Although I love numbers, I let myself obsess over the flood of information washing into our home and hearts. Have you done this too? It seems anyone and everyone has an opinion on the spread of the pandemic and how to curb it. I allowed myself to be sucked in by all the sources, viewpoints, and even conspiracy theories.
Then came the discussions. I’m not much of a debater; I don’t like confrontation, and I try to avoid it as much as possible. (Ask my hubby.) 🙂 But … this pandemic is a data mine of information and as a data analyst by profession, the sheer amount of information available to mine was like leaving a candy jar open on the counter in front of a child. My candy? The numbers–ones and zeros. Lots of them. The researcher in me wanted to get as much of that information to analyze the trajectory, speed, and extent of the spread of the virus. Listening to press conference after press conference and reading article after article, intensified a drive in me to “join the conversation” among data science experts.
But it wasn’t just the amount of information I was exposing myself to–and the various viewpoints. The seeming randomness of the virus was–and still is–unsettling. What if I’m in the group of people who gets it? What if my immune system is compromised or suppressed? What if I come in contact with someone and don’t know it? What if…?
I’m usually pretty good about what I let into my mind and heart. But this… this coronavirus isn’t just novel in name. It’s novel in its stealth. It made me feel helpless, like nothing I could do–or nothing I stopped doing–would make a bit of difference in whether I contracted it. That alone was enough for me to downward spiral–and without even noticing it.
Since then, we’re distancing and redirecting our attention. First, we’ve turned off the constant barrage of news. We check numbers periodically and rarely listen to the press conferences–unless a major announcement is expected. To stay informed, we’ve tuned into more state and local news, focusing on our local officials’ response to any developments.
The night when it all crumbled on me, we turned on something a little more serene. Little House on the Prairie, the story of a family on their Minnesota farm in the late 1800s. (Have you watched it?) At first, my children scoffed at the idea. But they stuck with it and seemed to enjoy it. I enjoyed showing off my knowledge of who was who in the show, what they were like, and how they were related to the Ingalls family. 🙂
Another evening, we played Bingo! I can’t remember the last time we did that. We’re usually a Yahtzee family. But someone recently gifted us a Bingo game with a Bingo cage! The kids were gracious enough to let me turn the handle on the cage. I didn’t tire of watching the random ball selector pick up a ball and shoot it down the chute. We even took the game up a notch: We played until someone filled up the entire card! The laughter was a much-needed break.
Since then, we’ve played several different games, including some practical jokes. Here’s a picture of us playing, what we call, Corona Yahtzee. Oh, and please disregard my “Quarantine Hair Don’t Care.”
By the way, I won the game. 😉
I’ve been feeling much better since we started distancing and redirecting. We’re also …
- Playing jazz, classical, and worshipful music
- Searching for lizards with the dogs
- Watching online chapel services from my alma mater Lee University. (Here’s the chapel service from Thursday, April 9th.)
- Cutting down on sugar intake
- Using the mini exercise bike my hubby got me as a birthday gift at about the same time our governor issued the safer-at-home order. (You know–the ones that fit under your desk? I’ve even used it while watching television.)
It also helped that it was Holy Week leading up to Easter, so tuning in to our pastor’s nightly devotions titled “Journey to the Cross” helped to offset any challenges of the day. Pastor Aaron’s Easter sermon also was full of hope found in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
I would be remiss if I didn’t also say that I’ve been careful to take my medications on time every time. Can’t mess with the chemistry! 😉
Friends, there are a lot of what-ifs surrounding this time. If we are not careful and intentional about managing potential stressors, anxiety can sneak up on us before we ever even realize it.
Here are some Scriptures I’m keeping in mind …
Our world is turbulent and replete with questions that don’t have answers. But God has given us comfort and peace. In John 14:27 in the Bible, Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Let the Prince of Peace calm the turbulence in our spirits and grant us wisdom and strength as we navigate the waters of this storm.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? (Matthew 6:25-26)
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:19)
Here is a song I sing to my children when we are lacking peace.
Stay safe and healthy!
Come alongside… What is stressing you out during this pandemic? How are you dealing with those triggers? Are you distancing? Redirecting your attention? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Got Questions While You’re Safer-at-Home? Me Too. (pt1)
Hi, friends!
I hope you are safe and well.
Has your state or country issued a safer-at-home order because of the Covid-19 pandemic? Are you on lockdown?
Now that we know what it means, our family has been practicing social distancing for several weeks. In efforts to flatten the curve (or slow down the spread) of the virus, we’re not going out unless absolutely necessary. Only one of us is going out for essentials. Mostly, we’re just hanging out around the house, in our yard, and driveway.
All the extra time (do we really have extra?) has led to a lot of questions for me–not just about the numbers or pandemics in general, but also about how I’m handling it all.
Are you asking those types of questions?
I want to share five of mine. I’ll post one today and the others in upcoming blog posts.
Here goes…
1. How am I doing with my daily routines?
- Am I sticking to a schedule as much as possible?
- What parts of my routine have been disrupted?
- How am I maintaining some sense of normalcy?
A significant “disruption” has been having all three children home … all day … every day. 😉 I’m not used to people complaining and moping that they’re bored while I’m trying to work. 🙂 Although I’m good at tuning out background noises, it’s difficult to ignore someone standing over me asking me what I’m doing and whether they can get a snack … again.
To keep things as normal as possible, my hubby has established that we will all have lunch together, just like we do when we’re all home on any given day. During that time, we eat together, watch TV together, and then do our own things. When my lunch time is over and I’m back at work, everyone quiets down again. They’re good at whispering, which I appreciate, and are completely quiet when I’m on conference calls. Oh, and no TV until after I’m done with work at 5pm. Some might find these a little rigid, but they have really helped to keep to a schedule in our home. (Our kiddos need structure–as do I!)
The kids are now doing virtual school for the remainder of the school year. 😮 My hubby has been instrumental to set it all up. He’s aligned their tasks with their usual school days. They’re each interacting with teachers and classmates at assigned times online. (I’m quiet during their conference times too–it works both ways.) I like that they are willing to ask us questions when they don’t understand something, and it warms my heart that we’re interacting on multiple levels now. Hubby and I are tag-teaming on all sorts of questions, from pronouns, jazz music, to the theory of evolution. Having routines–however large or small–is helping us to maintain some control in what seems an out-of-control world.
Last week, spotty Internet connections sent our well-thought plans into disarray. We have 10 electronic devices on our WIFI now. 😮 The kids were getting upset their online classes were coming in and out. (Hmm. Maybe this will teach them patience.) 😉 Anyway, this hiccup stressed me out initially, but we’re staggering usage and trying to stay positive–and flexible–along the way.
Those are just some of the changes to my routine throughout the week. Evenings are usually laid back around our house, so not much change there. But weekends… they’ve been affected most. We’ve been hanging around the house instead of going on our adventures. And we haven’t been to church at our normal church location in several weeks. That’s a big change for us–we attend church weekly. I’m thankful for our pastoral staff at Lakes Church. They are continuing to do what they do best–pastor and minister to those in need, and in even more creative ways. They’ve been livestreaming services and doing worship services for children and teens throughout the week. Tonight our pastors start livestreaming daily devotions for Holy Week. It’s not like being together with others in church, but until we can see each other face-to-face, we’re eager to worship with them online from our living room.
Life in general isn’t going as anyone planned. Here are some Scriptures I’m keeping in mind …
Are we open to interruptions? Are we willing to put our plans aside? Are we using the interruptions to grow closer to Him and to each other?
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21)
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:8)
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)
Here is one of my favorite songs fromKirk Franklin: “My Life is in Your Hands.”
Stay safe and healthy!
Come alongside… How are your routines going during this pandemic? What are your biggest disruptions? How are you dealing with those? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
My True DNA
Hi, friends!
It took a couple weeks until I got the kit in the mail. I made sure not to eat or drink anything for 30 minutes before I gave my sample–or is it a specimen? Eh, it’s “spit.” I entered all the necessary information online and set it out for the mail carrier.
Can I just say it took forever? Or at least, it seemed that way. Maybe it was delayed because of the holidays–or all the other people who received the offer for 1/2 off. Regardless, I finally got it in the mail.
Before I show you my results, I want to share what I was expecting, based on what I already knew–or thought I knew. 😉
I am Puerto Rican on both sides of my family. I have some Native American background and possibly some Venezuelan. But other than that, I’m … Puerto Rican. That’s all I know. Generations and generations of Puerto Ricans. 🙂
So… I was incredibly surprised to see the following results:
It appears I’m from 15 different regions! (Rough interpretation, I know.) And somehow, someway, people from these areas migrated to a tiny island in the Caribbean years and years ago. Isn’t that cool? (I know you learn about migration patterns in social studies classes, but it’s different when it’s about your own ancestors.)
Of course, I wanted to know more, so I started building my family tree online. It’s addicting! So far, I’ve gone back to the 17th century. 🙂
What makes me–and millions of others around the world–so curious about where we come from and how we got here? What propels us to dig deeper into our past? How far back could we go? Could we be related to someone famous?
And the most important question: Who am I?
We can answer that in any number of ways.
- I’m Puerto-Rican.
- I’m part Venezuelan.
- I’m part Portuguese.
- I’m part West African.
- So on and so on.
Who are you?
The Bible says, we–you and I–are children of the Almighty God, the Creator of heaven and earth. He made us. We are His masterpiece, his handiwork (Ephesians 2:10). He fashioned each of us.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (Psalm 139:13-16)
From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. (Acts 17:26a)
For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ (Acts 17:28)
He also planned each of us.
God decided exactly when and where they must live (Acts 17:26b).
I might not like where I was born or where I am in life now. I might have wanted to live in another time period, but that’s not what God had planned for me. I was not to live in ancient times. I was not to live in another country. I was not to live in a family of ten or a family of three.
God planned for me–Daphne– to live in the 1970s, to be born to a mostly Puerto-Rican family, whose ancestors had traveled from across the ocean at various times throughout history to a tiny island in the Caribbean. And just like them, I moved around and “wound up” in Florida in 2005–a 30-something divorced woman with a basset hound. Fifteen years later (:o), I am married and have three beautiful children.
What a Creator–and what an adventure!
Life has its ups and downs, its joys and disappointments, but I am a child of God. My DNA comes from my mother and my father. My true DNA comes from Jehovah God. I am His.
Have a listen to one of my favorite songs, “Who You Say I Am” by Hillsong Worship.
Come alongside… Have you had your DNA tested? What did it reveal? Were you surprised? How do you feel knowing that God is your Heavenly Father? That He created you and planned a beautiful life for you?
Sing out! It’s good for your health.
Hi, friends!
A while ago, I wrote about being in a funk. I took my own advice, picked up singing again, and joined the Lakeland Choral Society. Rehearsal night is one of the highlights of my week.
I love everything that comes with singing in a group.
- Interacting with people of all ages and lifestyles.
- Feeling accomplished when I hit the notes in a difficult section of music.
- Watching others enjoy singing.
- Absorbing our director’s passion.
- Following his precise cues.
- Practicing different styles of music.
- Doing the warm-up exercises–deep breathing, stretching, massaging.
- Singing scales with different vowel sounds.
- Feeling refreshed at the end of it all.
All of these reasons–and plenty more–have scooped me out of my funk. I love to sing out!
As if singing in the choral group weren’t enough, shortly after joining LCS, our director informed us of an opportunity to sing in an opera with the Imperial Symphony Orchestra. Who would’ve guessed that singing in an opera–one of my bucket list items–could become a reality! Without a second thought, I–along with several other choral members–volunteered to be in the cast of the ISO’s presentation of Ruggero Leoncavallo’s Pagliacci.
Sometimes, I felt way out of my league, and I wanted to quit, but I remembered why I volunteered–not just to sing, but to sing deeply, to feel the intensity of emotions in an operatic presentation. This was way more than singing opera in my living room, which I do regularly. This was singing opera with professionals and other people who love opera. This was experiencing the highs and lows of every aria. Many times while we were on stage, we forgot we were acting. Emotion overwhelmed us as we sang out.
It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience–one I’ll never forget. I treasure the intensity of it all.
It might seem an exaggeration, but to someone who struggles with depression, singing in general–and opera, specifically–has helped me release a host of pent-up emotions–sadness, anger, jealousy, internal strife, joy, mania. Whether it’s our weekly rehearsal or an opera performance, within two hours, I’ve exhausted my entire being in the most refreshing way. I sleep soundly.
Hard to believe?
Research shows music and singing have many benefits. Singing improves physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health. Singing in a group amplifies those benefits.
Even the Bible is filled with references to singing, commands to sing, and the power of singing.
Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises. (Psalm 47:6)
Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. (Psalm 95:1)
When they began to sing, the Lord threw the invading armies into a panic. (2 Chronicles 20:22)
I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. (Psalm 104:33)
All of God’s creation sings out.
All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing the praises of your name. (Psalm 66:4)
You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. (Isaiah 55:12)
Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy. (Psalm 96:12)
God sings!
The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
Even Jesus sang.
So the disciples did as Jesus had directed them and prepared the Passover. When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve…. When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. (Matthew 26:17-30)
You might not be interested in joining a choral group, much less singing in an opera. You might think you’re not even a good singer. Whatever your reservation, sing! Sing out! Incorporate singing into your life.
- Crank up the car stereo and sing along.
- Try karaoke.
- Sing in the shower.
- Practice singing the musical scales.
- Play singing games with your family. Instead of speaking to each other, sing!
- Sing the Psalms in the Bible.
- Sit in on a choral rehearsal.
- Take voice lessons.
- Sing along to operas like Pagliacci. Here’s a list of the top 50 operas.
- Join a choral group. (Have I convinced you yet?) 😉
Whatever you do, whatever you feel, sing out! Sing for your health. Sing out for God. You were made to sing out!
Come alongside… Do you like to sing? Why or why not? What would it take for you to sing out? How can you incorporate singing into your life? What health benefits have you experienced as a result of your singing out? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
