Got Questions While You’re Safer-at-Home? Me Too. (pt4)
Hi, friends!
How long have you been safer-at-home during this Covid-19 pandemic? Me? Since early-March. So about 10 weeks–I think. 😮 Wasn’t it the group Chicago who sang, “Does anybody really know what time it is?”
My routines are still going well. Sometimes too well. I might need to shake things up a bit. 😉 Do you also feel like you’re in the Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell movie “Groundhog Day“?
Mental health triggers have been minimal–partly due to distancing myself from too much news media (My apologies to fellow journalists and media industry friends.)
I’ve actually enjoyed not being as busy as I was prior to all this–and even at the beginning of staying at home, when I filled our time with activities and games.
This fourth question has been swirling in my head these last few weeks. Ready?
Here goes…
4. How am I staying connected?
- Can I safely volunteer?
- Can I safely help those with special needs–the elderly, immunosuppressed, etc.?
- Can I safely attend community events?
Not so much. 🙁
All around us, the message has been social distancing, so most people have stayed home. As weeks have turned to months, the message has evolved to physical distancing–not necessarily social distancing. More and more, it’s becoming evident that connection is important to mental, emotional, cultural, spiritual–and even physical–health.
Have you ever seen that reality TV show, “Alone“? It’s on the History Channel. Ten participants are dropped off at a significant distance from each other on a remote location around the world. The purpose? To see who could last the longest. They bring only 10 items to help them survive in the wilderness. They’re provided with camera equipment and a satellite-operated communication device that they can use to “tap out” of the competition, at which time a helicopter or boat will arrive at their tracked location to take them home. My family and I love this reality show! (We’re excited about the new season in June.)
From having watched six seasons of “Alone” throughout the years, we’ve determined that more often than not, it’s not the lack of survival skills that makes someone tap out; it’s the isolation from family, friends, and loved ones–people in general. Even $500,000–the grand prize to the last contestant on the island–isn’t enough to keep contestants in the game. The desire to connect is that strong. Some have even constructed toy people or animals out of whatever they can find to have some sort of companionship. (Think Wilson in the Tom Hanks movie “Cast Away.”) Despite the best of intentions, promoting prolonged isolation can have negative effects on our very being. Click To Tweet
God created us to connect and to be in relationship–with Him and with each other. Even as early as the Garden of Eden, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Here are some other examples from the Bible about God’s design for community.
Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)
From Ecclesiastes 7 Again I saw something on earth that didn’t mean anything.
8 A man lived all by himself. He didn’t have any sons or brothers. His hard work never ended. But he wasn’t happy with what he had. “Who am I working so hard for?” he asked. “Why don’t I get the things I enjoy?” That doesn’t have any meaning either. In fact, it’s a very bad deal!
9 Two people are better than one. They can help each other in everything they do.
10 Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him!
11 Or suppose two people lie down together. Then they’ll keep warm. But how can one person keep warm alone?
12 One person could be overpowered. But two people can stand up for themselves. And a rope made out of three cords isn’t easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:7-12)
Pre-COVID-19, I stayed connected by:
- Volunteering on the tech crew at my church, Lakes Church
- Singing with the community choral group, Lakeland Choral Society
- Visiting my elderly parents in their independent living community
- Joining my closest girlfriends for breakfast the first Saturday of the month
I haven’t been able to do any of those things in the past ten weeks. But I have:
- Called or texted those I haven’t talked to in a while
- Added video to conference calls
- Waved at our mailman from inside the house every day
- Watched live concerts from around the world online
- Joined my friend and fellow blogger, Kim Wilbanks, on her Facebook live tea times
Friends, connection isn’t just for the benefit of others. It’s for us too! We might think we don’t need it and that we’re doing it to help someone else. That might be true. But we’re also doing it for ourselves. And for those of us who are believers, we do it for God.
Take a few moments to listen to one of my favorites, Superchick’s “We Live.”
Stay safe and healthy!
Big hugs, Daphne
Come alongside… In what ways have you felt distant during this pandemic? What have you done to increase face-to-face or voice-to-voice activity? How has someone made an effort to connect with you during this time? How has staying connected helped you? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
The Bipolar Experience (Book Review)
Hi, friends!
Have you read The Bipolar Experience: Your Dreams Are Bigger than Bipolar Disorder by LeeAnn Jefferies and Eva Marie Everson?
As a person who struggles with bipolar disorder, I was naturally drawn to LeeAnn Jefferies’ story. The fact that she was a top model for more than 16 years added to my intrigue.
I felt like I was sitting on a wicker chair on a wrap-around porch listening to LeeAnn tell her story, her Southern accent and flare on display between our sips of sweet tea. I appreciated her authenticity.
I know what it’s like to be afraid of my own mind.
Oh, I hated it, I hated it! But I learned to live within the hell of it. Because that’s what it was. Hell. With all the good going on in my life–with all the God at work–I had come to a sure truth: I knew exactly where the devil’s playground resided. And it was with me all the time. Right there, in my mind.
Most of us can only live each day as it comes. But those with bipolar disorder will either live those days bouncing off the clouds or clawing our way through the mud.
I’m thankful I’m neither in the clouds or the mud these days.
The Bipolar Experience is a good resource for family and friends of those with bipolar disorder. Eva and LeeAnn sprinkle facts about the illness throughout the book, but they approach it in the context of her story, not as a medical encyclopedia.
I could relate to LeeAnn’s goal-oriented side of bipolar disorder. It’s a little known fact that a bipolar person tends to fixate on a goal–however big or small–until they achieve it. Many times, a person with bipolar disorder is viewed as extremely productive. I could see that in LeeAnn’s story–and in mine.
As much as I wanted to read The Bipolar Experience in one sitting, I struggled to read non-stop because I swing more to the depressive side of bipolar. I needed to take some breaks from reading it when I found myself swinging low. I would caution those who struggle with mental illness to be aware of that possibility prior to reading it. Awareness is key. 🙂
The story hops back and forth through key events in LeeAnn’s life, which as, LeeAnn herself admits, is a glimpse into the life and mind of a person with bipolar.
There are times in the telling of this story when I worry that I cannot keep the reader on track. Then again, this is a book about the bipolar experience, so why should I be able to do that? After all, my life has been up and down, down and up. Around a left-turn corner. Around a right-turn corner.
I can understand the rationale for that approach. However, as a person with bipolar disorder, I found it difficult to follow her journey. People who struggle with the illness are often obsessed with things being in a specific order–to the point of OCD. (LeeAnn mentioned her struggles with OCD too.) In order to create a linear progression of her life, I had to, as a classic sign of a bipolar person, go back and highlight the year in each chapter to understand what happened first, next, and so on. Nonetheless, the non-linear approach is a good representation of a bipolar mind for those who don’t face it firsthand.
I know family and friends of bipolars will appreciate the chapters by her husband and daughter. They were honest, heartfelt, and demonstrated the power of a strong support system. The importance of a good doctor is a continuous thread in the book.
Overall, I recommend The Bipolar Experience by LeeAnn Jefferies and Eva Marie Everson to family and friends of those struggling with the nauseating see-saw of this illness. For those who face this struggle, The Bipolar Experience is a reminder that God can use our circumstances (including illnesses) for good, but only if we let Him. LeeAnn is a great example of that. I am. You can be too.
***
Come alongside… Do you know someone with bipolar disorder or another mental illness? How can you support them? Do you see signs of mental illness in yourself? What can you do to get help? If you have been diagnosed with a mental illness, how are you managing your life? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Resources to Help You Cope with Holiday Blues
Hi, friends!
I haven’t written for several months, and I’ve missed you, but family members have been going through unexpected health issues since this summer. Although we’re still dealing with these things, we hope for a better tomorrow, trusting God knows all and takes care of us all–even when we can’t see Him.
So… as you know from some of my previous holiday-related posts, I have a hard time during this otherwise joyous season. But I’m not the only one. Thousands–actually, millions–of people are depressed and hurting during the holidays for a number of reasons.
This year, I’ve compiled some of my favorite posts and resources from around the Internet about how to deal with anxiety, depression, seasonal affective disorder, difficult memories, or other mental and emotional concerns during the holidays. You’ll want to bookmark this page for future reference. 🙂
- The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has an entire section devoted to the holiday blues, as well as a video and fact sheet on the “Holiday Blues,” including a section on children and holiday anxiety.
- The Huffington Post has two great articles (Part 1) and (Part 2) on how art therapy can help people de-stress during the holidays. I’m definitely trying some of these!
- On LinkedIn, one of my connections posted an article about how Jesus dealt with depression. It’s brief, but he makes great points.
- PsychCentral gives some suggestions for how to help those who are struggling during the holidays, as well as the impact of not getting enough sunlight during this stressful time.
- My friend and fellow author Rachel Wojnarowski wrote this ebook, 12 Days of Christmas for the Hurting. It’s available on Amazon.
- Also, Dr. Wayne Dyer writes about how to recapture the spirit of the holidays, particularly Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s in his book, No More Holiday Blues. It’s an older book (2010), but the information still applies. Dr. Dyer’s book is available on Amazon.
- Finally, The Skit Guys have a humorous take on all the busy-ness during the holidays, which can lead to increased anxiety from Thanksgiving through Christmas.
I know there are more resources out there. Do you have any you would like to add to this list? Share them with us in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Also, if you know someone who struggles with depression during the holidays, please share this post with them.
I hope you remember during this season–and always–that Jesus is close to you when you’re brokenhearted, depressed, and feel like giving up.
If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there. (Psalm 34:18)
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Help! I’m Stressed and It’s Snowballing!
Hi, friends!
I’ve read a lot of articles lately about being overwhelmed and handling stress. Have I needed them! 😉
I wanted to share some of these with you and hope they help you too:
Work Stress
This is a biggie, whether you work in or out of the home. Deadlines are stressful, aren’t they? Blogger Barb Raveling gives us “7 Ways to Stop Being Overwhelmed.” She teaches us ways to renew our mind and has several Bible studies on it.
Financial stress
If you’re low on money, you’ll want to check out Bill and Pam Farrel’s article at Just Between Us: “His and Her Financial Needs.” They list some great ideas for couples with different financial priorities.
Relational Stress
It’s difficult to know what to do when your loved one is stressed. Eric and April Motl have written an exceptional article over at Crosswalk: “Helping Your Spouse Through Seasons of Stress.”
Stress Specific to Women
Life coach and speaker Elisa Pulliam gives women “10 Stress-Management Tips” from a Biblical and practical perspective. Caution: She suggests “unplugging.”
Parenting Stress
I’m a newbie parent, so I know about parenting stress. 🙂 If you’re having issues with your kiddos and are beating yourself up over things you shouldn’t have said, head over to Stress-Free Kids. This is an older article, but still very useful. In it, Jill Hope shares “Four Strategies to Lessen Tension and Live More Peacefully.” Just a side note: One of these strategies involves asking for your kids’ forgiveness. I’ve had to do that a lot lately. 🙁
College Stress
When I think back to college, my heart races. So many stressors and the pressure to perform. ULifeline offers “Helpful tips on how to manage everyday stress” as a college student.
Stress Related to Life Changes
Life is about change. But sometimes–many times, change stresses us out–even when it’s a good life change like buying a house. I re-read my 2012 post about “Coping with Change” and it has helped me to regain my focus and to balance the different emotions that accompany any life change.
Is it More Than Stress?
When stress lingers and we don’t address it, we can dip into anxiety and depression. Huffington Post has a great article on “The Difference Between Stress and Anxiety.” Hint: One is caused by internal factors and the other external. Which one might you be experiencing?
I hope these resources help you cope with the many ways stress can impact your life. Bookmark them, re-read them, and share them with your family and friends. You can’t avoid stress, but you can manage it. Remember, stress in one area of your life can snowball into other areas.
Come alongside… Are you stressed? What is causing you stress? Has it dipped into depression and anxiety? What can you do to address it? Who can you call? What one thing can you change? Share with us in the comments section below. Remember, you can comment anonymously.
8 Ways to Deal With the Blues at Christmas
Hi, friends!
I tend to get depressed during the holidays. I wrote about that last year. So as the holidays approached this year, I was pleased to hear my pastor, Dr. Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Florida, preach about depression during the holidays.
Image from First Baptist Church at the Mall, Lakeland, Florida
Today, I am sharing his sermon and his notes with you in various formats. You’ll want to watch, listen, or read the information below. It really encouraged me this past Sunday, and I’m sure to refer to it again and again during the holidays.
Watch
[vimeo 80830395]
Listen
Read
I know you will find these eight steps helpful as you navigate the holiday season.
Come alongside… Have you struggled with depression during the holidays? How did you handle it? What steps did you take? Which of the eight steps in Pastor Jay’s sermon resonated with you most? What steps can you take this year to help you through the holidays? Please share with us in the comments below. Remember, you can share anonymously.
Note: All information in the video, audio, and study guide is copyrighted by Jay Dennis, Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Florida. Used with permission.
