Got Questions While You’re Safer-at-Home? Me Too. (pt2)
Hi, friends!
How are you doing? No, really–How are you?
To be more specific, how are you really handling this Covid-19 pandemic?
In my previous post, we talked about daily routines. How are you doing with yours? (In case you haven’t noticed, I’m one of those people who asks how you’re doing and really wants to know the answer.) 🙂 Are you sticking to as many of your routines as possible during this safer-at-home time? If not, head over to part 1 of this blog series to read some of the ways our family is maintaining some sense of normalcy while we’re practicing social distancing and doing our best to slow the spread of the virus. I also have some encouragement for you with Scripture verses and a song to add to your playlist. I also received great feedback in the comments! Feel free to add yours.
In this post, I’ll share question two.
Here goes…
2. What am I struggling with most right now??
- What is triggering me?
- How am I coping with added stress?
- Am I distancing and redirecting as necessary?
A couple weeks ago, though, anxiety had crept in and slumped on my chest when the numbers in our state and county started to increase dramatically. The pressure was so bad I burst into tears and hid in my room for a bit. I was thankful for my hubby who slid the pocket door to our bedroom shut and lay on the bed next to me. His presence alone calmed me.
After some introspection and trying to pinpoint when I started to feel even the slightest panic, I uncovered the source: The news. Although I love numbers, I let myself obsess over the flood of information washing into our home and hearts. Have you done this too? It seems anyone and everyone has an opinion on the spread of the pandemic and how to curb it. I allowed myself to be sucked in by all the sources, viewpoints, and even conspiracy theories.
Then came the discussions. I’m not much of a debater; I don’t like confrontation, and I try to avoid it as much as possible. (Ask my hubby.) 🙂 But … this pandemic is a data mine of information and as a data analyst by profession, the sheer amount of information available to mine was like leaving a candy jar open on the counter in front of a child. My candy? The numbers–ones and zeros. Lots of them. The researcher in me wanted to get as much of that information to analyze the trajectory, speed, and extent of the spread of the virus. Listening to press conference after press conference and reading article after article, intensified a drive in me to “join the conversation” among data science experts.
But it wasn’t just the amount of information I was exposing myself to–and the various viewpoints. The seeming randomness of the virus was–and still is–unsettling. What if I’m in the group of people who gets it? What if my immune system is compromised or suppressed? What if I come in contact with someone and don’t know it? What if…?
I’m usually pretty good about what I let into my mind and heart. But this… this coronavirus isn’t just novel in name. It’s novel in its stealth. It made me feel helpless, like nothing I could do–or nothing I stopped doing–would make a bit of difference in whether I contracted it. That alone was enough for me to downward spiral–and without even noticing it.
Since then, we’re distancing and redirecting our attention. First, we’ve turned off the constant barrage of news. We check numbers periodically and rarely listen to the press conferences–unless a major announcement is expected. To stay informed, we’ve tuned into more state and local news, focusing on our local officials’ response to any developments.
The night when it all crumbled on me, we turned on something a little more serene. Little House on the Prairie, the story of a family on their Minnesota farm in the late 1800s. (Have you watched it?) At first, my children scoffed at the idea. But they stuck with it and seemed to enjoy it. I enjoyed showing off my knowledge of who was who in the show, what they were like, and how they were related to the Ingalls family. 🙂
Another evening, we played Bingo! I can’t remember the last time we did that. We’re usually a Yahtzee family. But someone recently gifted us a Bingo game with a Bingo cage! The kids were gracious enough to let me turn the handle on the cage. I didn’t tire of watching the random ball selector pick up a ball and shoot it down the chute. We even took the game up a notch: We played until someone filled up the entire card! The laughter was a much-needed break.
Since then, we’ve played several different games, including some practical jokes. Here’s a picture of us playing, what we call, Corona Yahtzee. Oh, and please disregard my “Quarantine Hair Don’t Care.”
By the way, I won the game. 😉
I’ve been feeling much better since we started distancing and redirecting. We’re also …
- Playing jazz, classical, and worshipful music
- Searching for lizards with the dogs
- Watching online chapel services from my alma mater Lee University. (Here’s the chapel service from Thursday, April 9th.)
- Cutting down on sugar intake
- Using the mini exercise bike my hubby got me as a birthday gift at about the same time our governor issued the safer-at-home order. (You know–the ones that fit under your desk? I’ve even used it while watching television.)
It also helped that it was Holy Week leading up to Easter, so tuning in to our pastor’s nightly devotions titled “Journey to the Cross” helped to offset any challenges of the day. Pastor Aaron’s Easter sermon also was full of hope found in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
I would be remiss if I didn’t also say that I’ve been careful to take my medications on time every time. Can’t mess with the chemistry! 😉
Friends, there are a lot of what-ifs surrounding this time. If we are not careful and intentional about managing potential stressors, anxiety can sneak up on us before we ever even realize it.
Here are some Scriptures I’m keeping in mind …
Our world is turbulent and replete with questions that don’t have answers. But God has given us comfort and peace. In John 14:27 in the Bible, Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Let the Prince of Peace calm the turbulence in our spirits and grant us wisdom and strength as we navigate the waters of this storm.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? (Matthew 6:25-26)
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:19)
Here is a song I sing to my children when we are lacking peace.
Stay safe and healthy!
Come alongside… What is stressing you out during this pandemic? How are you dealing with those triggers? Are you distancing? Redirecting your attention? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Got Questions While You’re Safer-at-Home? Me Too. (pt1)
Hi, friends!
I hope you are safe and well.
Has your state or country issued a safer-at-home order because of the Covid-19 pandemic? Are you on lockdown?
Now that we know what it means, our family has been practicing social distancing for several weeks. In efforts to flatten the curve (or slow down the spread) of the virus, we’re not going out unless absolutely necessary. Only one of us is going out for essentials. Mostly, we’re just hanging out around the house, in our yard, and driveway.
All the extra time (do we really have extra?) has led to a lot of questions for me–not just about the numbers or pandemics in general, but also about how I’m handling it all.
Are you asking those types of questions?
I want to share five of mine. I’ll post one today and the others in upcoming blog posts.
Here goes…
1. How am I doing with my daily routines?
- Am I sticking to a schedule as much as possible?
- What parts of my routine have been disrupted?
- How am I maintaining some sense of normalcy?
A significant “disruption” has been having all three children home … all day … every day. 😉 I’m not used to people complaining and moping that they’re bored while I’m trying to work. 🙂 Although I’m good at tuning out background noises, it’s difficult to ignore someone standing over me asking me what I’m doing and whether they can get a snack … again.
To keep things as normal as possible, my hubby has established that we will all have lunch together, just like we do when we’re all home on any given day. During that time, we eat together, watch TV together, and then do our own things. When my lunch time is over and I’m back at work, everyone quiets down again. They’re good at whispering, which I appreciate, and are completely quiet when I’m on conference calls. Oh, and no TV until after I’m done with work at 5pm. Some might find these a little rigid, but they have really helped to keep to a schedule in our home. (Our kiddos need structure–as do I!)
The kids are now doing virtual school for the remainder of the school year. 😮 My hubby has been instrumental to set it all up. He’s aligned their tasks with their usual school days. They’re each interacting with teachers and classmates at assigned times online. (I’m quiet during their conference times too–it works both ways.) I like that they are willing to ask us questions when they don’t understand something, and it warms my heart that we’re interacting on multiple levels now. Hubby and I are tag-teaming on all sorts of questions, from pronouns, jazz music, to the theory of evolution. Having routines–however large or small–is helping us to maintain some control in what seems an out-of-control world.
Last week, spotty Internet connections sent our well-thought plans into disarray. We have 10 electronic devices on our WIFI now. 😮 The kids were getting upset their online classes were coming in and out. (Hmm. Maybe this will teach them patience.) 😉 Anyway, this hiccup stressed me out initially, but we’re staggering usage and trying to stay positive–and flexible–along the way.
Those are just some of the changes to my routine throughout the week. Evenings are usually laid back around our house, so not much change there. But weekends… they’ve been affected most. We’ve been hanging around the house instead of going on our adventures. And we haven’t been to church at our normal church location in several weeks. That’s a big change for us–we attend church weekly. I’m thankful for our pastoral staff at Lakes Church. They are continuing to do what they do best–pastor and minister to those in need, and in even more creative ways. They’ve been livestreaming services and doing worship services for children and teens throughout the week. Tonight our pastors start livestreaming daily devotions for Holy Week. It’s not like being together with others in church, but until we can see each other face-to-face, we’re eager to worship with them online from our living room.
Life in general isn’t going as anyone planned. Here are some Scriptures I’m keeping in mind …
Are we open to interruptions? Are we willing to put our plans aside? Are we using the interruptions to grow closer to Him and to each other?
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21)
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:8)
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)
Here is one of my favorite songs fromKirk Franklin: “My Life is in Your Hands.”
Stay safe and healthy!
Come alongside… How are your routines going during this pandemic? What are your biggest disruptions? How are you dealing with those? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Help! I’m Stressed and It’s Snowballing!
Hi, friends!
I’ve read a lot of articles lately about being overwhelmed and handling stress. Have I needed them! 😉
I wanted to share some of these with you and hope they help you too:
Work Stress
This is a biggie, whether you work in or out of the home. Deadlines are stressful, aren’t they? Blogger Barb Raveling gives us “7 Ways to Stop Being Overwhelmed.” She teaches us ways to renew our mind and has several Bible studies on it.
Financial stress
If you’re low on money, you’ll want to check out Bill and Pam Farrel’s article at Just Between Us: “His and Her Financial Needs.” They list some great ideas for couples with different financial priorities.
Relational Stress
It’s difficult to know what to do when your loved one is stressed. Eric and April Motl have written an exceptional article over at Crosswalk: “Helping Your Spouse Through Seasons of Stress.”
Stress Specific to Women
Life coach and speaker Elisa Pulliam gives women “10 Stress-Management Tips” from a Biblical and practical perspective. Caution: She suggests “unplugging.”
Parenting Stress
I’m a newbie parent, so I know about parenting stress. 🙂 If you’re having issues with your kiddos and are beating yourself up over things you shouldn’t have said, head over to Stress-Free Kids. This is an older article, but still very useful. In it, Jill Hope shares “Four Strategies to Lessen Tension and Live More Peacefully.” Just a side note: One of these strategies involves asking for your kids’ forgiveness. I’ve had to do that a lot lately. 🙁
College Stress
When I think back to college, my heart races. So many stressors and the pressure to perform. ULifeline offers “Helpful tips on how to manage everyday stress” as a college student.
Stress Related to Life Changes
Life is about change. But sometimes–many times, change stresses us out–even when it’s a good life change like buying a house. I re-read my 2012 post about “Coping with Change” and it has helped me to regain my focus and to balance the different emotions that accompany any life change.
Is it More Than Stress?
When stress lingers and we don’t address it, we can dip into anxiety and depression. Huffington Post has a great article on “The Difference Between Stress and Anxiety.” Hint: One is caused by internal factors and the other external. Which one might you be experiencing?
I hope these resources help you cope with the many ways stress can impact your life. Bookmark them, re-read them, and share them with your family and friends. You can’t avoid stress, but you can manage it. Remember, stress in one area of your life can snowball into other areas.
Come alongside… Are you stressed? What is causing you stress? Has it dipped into depression and anxiety? What can you do to address it? Who can you call? What one thing can you change? Share with us in the comments section below. Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Word of the Year: 2014
Happy new year, friends!
For the past several years, I’ve meditated on a word for that specific year.
- Freedom
- Grace
- Trust
- Growth
Last year, my word was fearless. I mentioned specific fears I wanted to release:
- Not measuring up as a newbie parent.
- Declining physical and mental illness.
- Dying and leaving my husband and family behind.
- Being good enough to write my own book.
Big things! But…thanks be to God: He has helped me not to be consumed with these things.
- I’ve lowered my high expectations of being the perfect parent and allowed myself to make mistakes and not feel like a failure.
- God has helped me to manage my physical and mental illnesses. I can honestly say I’m doing well.
- Of course, no one likes to think about dying and leaving their family behind, but I don’t let that overwhelm me like it did before last year. I’m still a little fearful, though.
- And as you already know, I did write my book. 🙂
Isn’t God good?
If you’re struggling with fear, please remember this great verse from 2 Timothy 1:7:
God didn’t give us a spirit that makes us weak and fearful. He gave us a spirit that gives us power and love.
Fear not!
This year, I’ve been a little back and forth on my word for the year. But after much thought, my word for 2014 is:
CONSISTENCY
That’s a heavy one for me because sometimes–well, a lot of times, I’m all over the place and I overlook stuff–important stuff. So… here are the areas I want to focus on:
- Prayer and Bible reading
- Hubby and me time
- Me time
- Family time
- Writing and blogging
- Encouraging
- Praising
That might seem like a lot–and it is, but I think I need to follow through with my good intentions. Hey, there’s no sense in scheduling stuff on my electronic calendar if I’m going to ignore the alerts, right? 😀
This is my verse for the year, from 1 Corinthians 9:25-27.
All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally. I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.
So, by God’s strength alone, I will not be led astray by distractions.
I will be consistent!
Come alongside….Would you say you are consistent? If not, what areas do you need to work on? What is your word for 2014?
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S.T.E.P. away from bad habits
Do you have an unhealthy habit? You know… The one that makes you say, “Ugh. I did it again!”
- I ate the things I told myself I would not eat.
- I acted out in anger when I vowed I wouldn’t.
- I stayed inside all day when I told myself I would—at the very least—take a walk around the block.
Those are some of mine. What are yours?
Listen to Paul—a great man of faith:
I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate.
I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong…
But I can’t help myself….
When I want to do good, I don’t. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. (Romans 7:15-19)
Talk about frustration and disappointment.
Sometimes, the mere idea of changing an unhealthy habit seems daunting, doesn’t it? After all, I can’t throw away all my food and start all over. And I can’t keep silent all day so I won’t spout out in anger. And walk around the block? That’s just too much effort right now.
So how can we tackle our unhealthy habits, then?
S.T.E.P. away.
Swap it out.
Many times, we pick up our unhealthy habits again because we didn’t replace them with a healthier habit. And when we do give in, the Bible says it’s usually worse (Matthew 12:43-45). For me, that means replacing processed foods with more wholesome, natural foods. That way, when I get a craving for something sweet, I have a natural alternative that I can turn to—not empty calories that I’ll later regret. What can you swap?
Thank your supporters in advance.
Sometimes telling our closest friends or family members what we’re trying to do and thanking them in advance for their support can help us change our unhealthy habits. When our loved ones see we’re trying to improve ourselves, they can be our biggest cheerleaders. That might not always be the case, so it’s important to choose our cheerleaders carefully. For me, that could mean sharing with my family that I’m trying to work on my anger and I would appreciate any support they can give me. Who can you recruit as a cheerleader?
Easy does it.
It’s difficult to make drastic changes to our ingrained habits. So it’s best to start small. In my example, instead of saying I’m going to walk around the block, I can break that down by focusing on the things that need to happen before I can walk around the block. I could say, “Today, I will simply put on my shoes.” It might not be a big deal to some, but for people who struggle with depression, putting on our shoes can be that step in the right direction to get us outside and then to walk around the block and beyond. Celebrate these small victories. Remember Zechariah 4:10: “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin.” What is your small beginning?
Pray, pray, pray.
Unhealthy habits are bigger than we are or else we would have already given them up. But thanks be to God that He is bigger than anything we could face—including our bad habits. The key is continuous communication with our Higher Power, Jesus Christ. With Him, all things are possible. Without Him, we are powerless.
It won’t be easy, but when you S.T.E.P. away from your bad habits, you’ll soon change your “Ugh, I did it again” to “Yes, God did it again!”
Come alongside…. Do you have an unhealthy habit you would like to change? What is it? Which S.T.E.P. can you focus on today? Remember, you can comment anonymously.
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