Subscribe
* = required field

powered by MailChimp!
Categories

Forgive and forget? Not really. (Part 1)

 
Hi, friends!
 
forgiveforgetrev1
Do you “forgive and forget?”
 
 
Lately, I keep seeing and hearing people tell each other to “forgive and forget” wrongs others have committed against them. Although I’ve heard that saying since I was a wee one, the more I hear it, the more I don’t agree with it. Well, part of it, anyway.
 
 

Should I forgive? Absolutely!

Choosing to forgive doesn’t mean the other person did nothing wrong. On the contrary! It means yes, he–or she–wronged you in one way or another. When you forgive, you acknowledge that someone did hurt you.

  • They lied about you.
  • They abused you.
  • They took you for granted.
  • They ignored you.

 
Forgiveness says…
 
 

“You hurt me!”

 
 
But forgiveness goes further. It also says…
 
 

“I’m not going to hurt you back.”

 
 
When you forgive someone, you tell yourself, “I won’t let what so-and-so did fester. I won’t let myself get bitter. I won’t let myself take revenge. (Yes, revenge includes giving them the silent treatment.)”
 

Don’t pay back evil with evil. (Romans 12:17)
 

 
Forgiveness says you have suffered from someone’s words or actions. It doesn’t mean you deny or diminish what you’re feeling:
 

  • “Oh, it’s okay.”
  • “It’s no big deal.”
  • “I’ll get over it.”
  • “Whatever.”

 
Forgiveness says, “Oh, I feel it… Every. Single. Day. But today–for this moment, I will not get them back. I will feel all of this pain. I will cry, I will kick, I will scream. And when I’m done, I’ll be a little more free.” Yes, free!
 
Our hurts are alive. We can’t bury them. They need to come out one way or another; that’s why God tells us not to ignore them.
 

My people are broken – shattered! – and they put on band-aids, Saying, ‘It’s not so bad. You’ll be just fine.’ But things are not ‘just fine’! (Jeremiah 6:14)
 

 
When you let out your hurts, when you thrust them up to God, you move one step closer to being released from the burden of that pain. Forgiveness makes that happen. Forgiveness helps you to process those feelings for however long it takes. And yes, sometimes, forgiveness takes a long time; it doesn’t all happen at once. But when it does–when forgiveness is complete, after umpteen times of crying, kicking, screaming, praying to God, you’ll suddenly realize…
 
 

“Hey, it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it did before.”

 
 
That’s what forgiveness does. That’s what God wants for us all. That’s what He wants for you.
 
 
 
 
So… yes, I agree with the “Forgive” part of “Forgive and forget.” But do I agree with the “and forget” part? I’ll address that in my next post. In the meantime…
 
 
 
Come alongside… Do you have someone to forgive? Will you? Why or why not? Please comment in the box below. Remember, you can comment anonymously.
 
 
 


Related Products

 
 

 
 

17 Responses to Forgive and forget? Not really. (Part 1)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Affiliate Disclosure

Daphne Tarango is a participant in affiliate programs with Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, DaySpring, Church Source, Hazelden, Christian Strong (via Conversant and ShareASale). These advertising services are designed to provide a means for sites like DaphneWrites.com to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to said merchants. Some images and articles may contain links to products on merchant sites. Should you choose to make purchases through those links, please understand that I will receive a small commission. Please do not feel like you need to use these links to make any purchases. The links are only for your convenience. Thank you.

Follow Daphne
Friend me on FacebookMy profile on GoodreadsJoin my network on LinkedInFollow me on PinterestFollow me on Twitter