Accountability… Who Needs It?

Published December 23, 2011 | By Daphne

My heart hurts, I have a knot in my throat, and I want to cry.

I’ve just learned that a dear friend–one I haven’t talked to in a long time–is now leading a self-destructive lifestyle.

My heart hurts for her. I never would have imagined this. I saw a picture of her today and she looked…totally different from what I remember.

I know she is responsible–as are each of us–for our actions, but I’ve got to wonder… Where where her friends–myself included, her family, her pastor? Did anyone talk to her about the road she was headed? Did anyone even bother to ask her what was wrong? Even more, did she seek out help? Did she feel safe enough to say she was hurting? Did she…?

Dear one, I don’t know the answers to any of those questions. But it certainly reminds me of experiences in my life when I was hurting. Divorce. Depression. Trauma. Illness. Did anyone approach me and ask what was wrong? Did anyone say, “I’ve noticed you are having a difficult time. Do you want to talk about it?” Did my pastors counsel and encourage me? Even more, did I seek out help? Did I feel safe enough to say I was hurting? Did I take down my mask of seeming perfection and share my struggles with trusted friends? Did I…?

Some of these answers might be, “Yes.” Others might be, “No.” And yet others might be, “Kinda.”

Regardless, silence prolongs pain–mine, my friend’s and yours.

“When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me. I moaned all day long” (Psalm 32:3).

I know it can be awkward to approach someone about their personal struggles, but wouldn’t we want the same?

“Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path” (Galatians 6:1).

Dear ones, we are not meant to fight our battles alone.

“A friend loves you all the time, and a brother helps in time of trouble” (Proverbs 17:17).

“Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. If one falls down, the other can help him up. But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help. If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm. An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

If you are hurting, reach out to someone–a friend, family member, coworker, pastor, or a counselor.

If you see someone hurting, reach out. Please come alongside them. Please love them. A hurting person is just that–a real person, someone’s son or daughter, someone’s husband or wife, someone’s friend–God’s creation.

None of us is exempt from suffering. None of us is exempt from temptation. None of us is exempt from falling (1 Corinthians 10:12).

Accountability… Who needs it? We all do.

Come alongside… Are you hurting? What steps can you take to reach out? Do you know someone who is hurting? How can you reach out to them? Will you forward this post to them? Will you love them?