We started to attend church, and I learned about having a personal relationship with God – not based on performance or rules. What a breath of fresh air! I prayed and read the Bible–things I knew a Christian should do, but I resisted transferring control of my life to God.

In early 2004, my husband asked for a divorce. I begged and pleaded, “Please, no. Let’s get help.” But he didn’t want to try anymore. I felt like he was giving up on me, that I was a hopeless cause, and I would never change.

I wanted to be a different person, but I didn’t know how to change. God helped me to see that I was critical of others because I was critical of myself.

I wanted to make all things right, and I wanted to measure up – to be a better wife. I read all the self-help books I could find. I ventured into online pornography, and before I knew it, I was addicted. I couldn’t stop.

My divorce was final the following year.

The rest of the year piled on more hurts. I kept doing the same things and expecting a different outcome. Unhealthy relationships. Broken family relationships. Falling behind on the PhD. I longed to make at least one thing work. Instead, my body caved under so much stress.

Doctors and counselors encouraged me to reinvent my life.

Deep down, I knew what I wanted to do: Resign my PhD. To call it quits. As I ended that chapter of my life, questions echoed through my mind: “Daphne, what will they say?” But in my heart, I felt relief.

I didn’t know what to do with my life. But I wanted a fresh start. Within a month-and-half, I had a job and home church in sunny Central Florida.

This is where change really started. But it didn’t come easy. It’s still not easy! 😉

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