Got Questions While You’re Safer-at-Home? Me Too. (pt4)
Hi, friends!
How long have you been safer-at-home during this Covid-19 pandemic? Me? Since early-March. So about 10 weeks–I think. 😮 Wasn’t it the group Chicago who sang, “Does anybody really know what time it is?”
My routines are still going well. Sometimes too well. I might need to shake things up a bit. 😉 Do you also feel like you’re in the Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell movie “Groundhog Day“?
Mental health triggers have been minimal–partly due to distancing myself from too much news media (My apologies to fellow journalists and media industry friends.)
I’ve actually enjoyed not being as busy as I was prior to all this–and even at the beginning of staying at home, when I filled our time with activities and games.
This fourth question has been swirling in my head these last few weeks. Ready?
Here goes…
4. How am I staying connected?
- Can I safely volunteer?
- Can I safely help those with special needs–the elderly, immunosuppressed, etc.?
- Can I safely attend community events?
Not so much. 🙁
All around us, the message has been social distancing, so most people have stayed home. As weeks have turned to months, the message has evolved to physical distancing–not necessarily social distancing. More and more, it’s becoming evident that connection is important to mental, emotional, cultural, spiritual–and even physical–health.
Have you ever seen that reality TV show, “Alone“? It’s on the History Channel. Ten participants are dropped off at a significant distance from each other on a remote location around the world. The purpose? To see who could last the longest. They bring only 10 items to help them survive in the wilderness. They’re provided with camera equipment and a satellite-operated communication device that they can use to “tap out” of the competition, at which time a helicopter or boat will arrive at their tracked location to take them home. My family and I love this reality show! (We’re excited about the new season in June.)
From having watched six seasons of “Alone” throughout the years, we’ve determined that more often than not, it’s not the lack of survival skills that makes someone tap out; it’s the isolation from family, friends, and loved ones–people in general. Even $500,000–the grand prize to the last contestant on the island–isn’t enough to keep contestants in the game. The desire to connect is that strong. Some have even constructed toy people or animals out of whatever they can find to have some sort of companionship. (Think Wilson in the Tom Hanks movie “Cast Away.”) Despite the best of intentions, promoting prolonged isolation can have negative effects on our very being. Click To Tweet
God created us to connect and to be in relationship–with Him and with each other. Even as early as the Garden of Eden, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Here are some other examples from the Bible about God’s design for community.
Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)
From Ecclesiastes 7 Again I saw something on earth that didn’t mean anything.
8 A man lived all by himself. He didn’t have any sons or brothers. His hard work never ended. But he wasn’t happy with what he had. “Who am I working so hard for?” he asked. “Why don’t I get the things I enjoy?” That doesn’t have any meaning either. In fact, it’s a very bad deal!
9 Two people are better than one. They can help each other in everything they do.
10 Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him!
11 Or suppose two people lie down together. Then they’ll keep warm. But how can one person keep warm alone?
12 One person could be overpowered. But two people can stand up for themselves. And a rope made out of three cords isn’t easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:7-12)
Pre-COVID-19, I stayed connected by:
- Volunteering on the tech crew at my church, Lakes Church
- Singing with the community choral group, Lakeland Choral Society
- Visiting my elderly parents in their independent living community
- Joining my closest girlfriends for breakfast the first Saturday of the month
I haven’t been able to do any of those things in the past ten weeks. But I have:
- Called or texted those I haven’t talked to in a while
- Added video to conference calls
- Waved at our mailman from inside the house every day
- Watched live concerts from around the world online
- Joined my friend and fellow blogger, Kim Wilbanks, on her Facebook live tea times
Friends, connection isn’t just for the benefit of others. It’s for us too! We might think we don’t need it and that we’re doing it to help someone else. That might be true. But we’re also doing it for ourselves. And for those of us who are believers, we do it for God.
Take a few moments to listen to one of my favorites, Superchick’s “We Live.”
Stay safe and healthy!
Big hugs, Daphne
Come alongside… In what ways have you felt distant during this pandemic? What have you done to increase face-to-face or voice-to-voice activity? How has someone made an effort to connect with you during this time? How has staying connected helped you? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Lessons Learned in the Strawberry Field
Hi, friends!
Recently, my family and I went strawberry picking for my 42nd birthday. That’s right. 42. 😮
I wasn’t feeling well that day. Chronic illness has a way of surprising you, regardless of special occasions. Nonetheless, off we went.
Maybe it was the realization I was a year older. Or the fact that my back and knees aren’t what they used to be. But strawberry picking got me thinking about life. Here are some of my observations.
Sometimes, we don’t get what we want when we want it.
Sometimes, we try to rush things and see who “arrives” first.
“Okay, I’m done.” (They were back within five minutes!)
But picking strawberries, like life, isn’t about rushing. It’s about enjoying the experience, taking our time, and admiring the beauty around us.
We might not be as far “ahead” in life as we’d like.
But life is sweeter when we treasure how far we’ve come.
We might have to look hard to find the good.
And what we think looks good to us, upon further inspection, isn’t good after all.
But life is good when we can delight in the little things.
And what’s meant for us will be ready just when we need it.
In the end, life is about enjoying the time we have with our loved ones.
And sharing our blessings with others.
“Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12, NLT)
“Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!” (Psalm 90:12, MSG)
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Come alongside… Do you like fruit-picking season? What’s your favorite fruit to pick? What do you enjoy about picking fruit? Gardening? Harvesting? What has it taught you about life? Comment in the box below where it says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
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Enfolded in God’s Arms (Book Review)
Hi, friends!
One of the things I try to do on this site is to let you know of resources that have helped me and could help you in your walk with God–and with others.
Enfolded in God’s Arms by Lisa Aré Wulf is one of the books I think you should look into, especially if you feel stuck in life.
Enfolded in God’s Arms is a 40-day devotional for people who need healing in their lives. Isn’t that all of us? 🙂
Each of Lisa’s reflections include:
- Scripture verse
- Devotional entry
- Questions to ponder
- Prayer
- Journal space
The delicate flowers on the cover set the tone for the book. The fragile vase is a hint at the approach Lisa uses throughout the book. From the beginning, Lisa calms the reader’s fear of digging deeper into their hurts. In the middle of each entry, she includes a section titled “Be Still for a Silent Moment with God.” I appreciated this section because it reminded me not to keep reading without listening to what God was speaking to my heart. Instead, I stopped and reflected on what I was reading and how it applied to me.
Enfolded in God’s Arms helps readers start the process of introspection, which leads to healing. It’s a great book for those who “are experts at putting on a good face.” Lisa uses a tender approach. I’ve never heard her voice, but I felt like I could hear her encouraging me.
Although Lisa sprinkles personal examples throughout the book, I wanted more of them! I wanted to know how she handled her struggles specifically. In my opinion, sharing more of her experiences would have helped the reader to dig even deeper. It’s a personal preference that does not detract from the book in any way.
I recommend Enfolded in God’s Arms by Lisa Aré Wulf for anyone who experiences struggles they “can’t seem to shake.” Anyone who is starting in recovery circles, including 12-step programs, would benefit from Lisa’s book. It is non-threatening, yet challenging and transforming. It would be ideal for a small accountability group. It also makes a sweet gift to those who need a long embrace.
To learn more about Lisa, visit her Web site.
To purchase a copy of Enfolded in God’s Arms, click on the Amazon logo below.
Come alongside…. How can you benefit from Lisa’s book? In which areas of your life do you need to get unstuck? Which parts of yourself have masks? Post your comment in the box below that says, “Leave a Reply.” Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Who’s Having The Last Laugh Now?
Do you like watching America’s Funniest Home Videos? I do. It never gets old watching people’s antics, especially when they go wrong.
Most of the situations are harmless, although I’m sure some have led to an ambulance ride or two.
It’s one thing to laugh at someone else’s expense for giving their six year old a bat for a piñata and then standing too close when the boy starts swinging.
It’s another thing to laugh at someone’s misfortune or pain.
Think about the recent divorce of Hollywood couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The media have made a joke of their family’s crisis because, as some have claimed, Brad and Angelina started seeing each other while Brad was still with Jennifer Aniston, costar of the mega hit 90s TV sitcom Friends. Suddenly, we hear…
- He had it coming to him.
- What goes around comes around.
- Serves him right.
- Karma is a (blank).
- Jennifer’s having the last laugh.
I don’t know whether Jennifer is having the last laugh. But when I feel wronged, my initial response is to lash out, to get the final word, to see the person get what’s coming to them.
I want to have the last laugh.
Normal? Yes. Healthy? No.
When we rejoice in the misfortune of others–however small or great, we hurt still. We have not recovered. Our wounds are infected and need healing.
We know we’ve recovered when seeing the misfortune of those who’ve hurt us saddens us too.
Compassion, not criticism, reveals healing.
Compassion doesn’t come quickly. It delays. It meanders its way to us. Compassion remembers what pain feels like.
What to do? Ignore the hurt? Pretend it didn’t happen? Shrug it off? No. Feel the pain. Voice it out to God. Expose your feelings of betrayal before Him. Trust Him with your raw hurt.
Then…and you’ll know when, pray for them, that God will draw them closer to Him, that He would meet their needs, that He would heal their wounds. That He would bless them.
Yes–bless them.
For example, Job prayed for “friends” who criticized, insulted, and blamed him for all the tragedy in his life. The Bible says “the Lord released Job from captivity when he prayed for his friends” (Job 42:10a).
Our hurts hold us captive when we want to have the last laugh on those who’ve hurt us or our loved ones. God can release us from that captivity just like He did for Job.
The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part…. Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so Job died, an old man and full of years. (Job 42:12, 17)
Job lived peacefully. He enjoyed life. He laughed–a lot.
Can you hear his laughter? It isn’t a “you’ll get yours” type of laugh. It’s a laughter of healing, freedom, and compassion.
Job chose his last laugh. You can too.
Come alongside… Has someone hurt you or a loved one? Are you waiting to have the last laugh? How can you start healing from this hurt? How can you pray for the person who hurt you or those you love? Do you have a story of a time you prayed for someone who hurt you? Comment below in the box that says, “Leave a reply.” Remember you can comment anonymously.
7 Questions for When You Want to Stand Up for Your Beliefs
Hi, friends!
Ever have to stand up for what you believe, knowing it might cost you something?
- A relationship
- A job
- Your freedom
- Your life
Standing up for your convictions can be difficult, especially when you’re codependent.
Recently, I wrestled with this very issue. And when I say I wrestled with it, I mean I thought of it during the day and dreamed about it at night.
I had no clue I was walking into a situation that was against my beliefs, but when confronted with it, I wanted out.
The codependent side of me, however, crawled up my arm, propped itself onto my shoulder, inched up to my ear, and whispered its oh-too-familiar lies.
You’ll disappoint everyone.
What will they say?
They won’t talk to you again, they won’t want anything to do with you, they’ll talk behind your back. They’ll say you’re weak.
You think you’re all that—holier than everyone else. You’re nothing. You’re a disappointment—even to yourself.
The enemy sure knows my insecurities! He can prick any of these issues and usually get a reaction out of me.
I knew right from wrong, and I wasn’t afraid to say so—tactfully, of course. I didn’t point fingers. I didn’t judge. I simply said I couldn’t participate, and I said why.
Did my voice waver? Sure it did. Was I nervous? You bet!
But I did it: I stood up for my beliefs.
Their response? Cricket. Cricket. But… it didn’t matter—not then, not now.
I knew who I wanted to please—and I followed through. (Wish I could always say that!)
Am I now trying to get people to think well of me? Or do I want God to think well of me? Am I trying to please people? If I were, I would not be serving Christ. (Galatians 1:10)
For me, it was either please God or please others, not both.
As I think about what happened, I now see seven questions that could help me make the right choice next time. I hope these seven questions help you too.
1. How am I feeling?
When something triggers our convictions, our conscience sends up red flags. Our palms sweat, our heart races, and we feel tingling in our armpits (or is that just me?). If we’re showing physical signs of excitement, we’re already not thinking clearly because our emotions are taking over. That’s when we’re more likely to react and make a rash decision (Mark 6:22). Being aware of our emotions when confronted with a compromising situation helps us to step back before making a wrong decision.
2. How does this issue or situation line up with what I believe?
Although few things in life are black and white, there are absolutes. God’s word is absolute. When we use the Bible to define right and wrong, we’ll know when we face something that goes against our beliefs. Even if the Bible doesn’t address an issue specifically, we can still apply Biblical principles to our decision-making to help us align with God’s definitions of right and wrong. Knowing our boundaries and committing to them ahead of time is essential. Decisions made on the spot tend to miss God’s mark (Matthew 26:69-75).
3. Am I feeling pressured to compromise?
When we’re surrounded by people who disagree with our beliefs—whether in words or actions, it’s tempting to go along with them. Peer pressure does exist, but it’s usually not as obvious as in childhood. (Thank goodness!) Indirect peer pressure is more common among adults. It’s also more subtle. If we’re not careful, our silence can signal acceptance. Remember, appeasing others displeases God (Mark 15:1-15).
4. Am I pressuring myself?
Oftentimes, others don’t pressure us; we pressure ourselves. Although we know right from wrong, we reason that if we follow others, we’ll finally belong. But if we stand up, we risk standing alone. Isolation is scary because God made us for relationship—with Him. When we believe that the Lord our God made us to belong to Him, not to anyone else, we know that even if we stand alone, we are never alone. We have Him. He has us. The pressure we place on ourselves to belong to others ignores the fact that we are already His (Psalm 73:23-26).
5. Who can my decision impact?
When we compromise our beliefs, we’re not the only ones to feel the results. Our families, friends, even fellow believers can suffer because of our hasty decisions (Exodus 34:5-7). Our life will look different after our fateful choice—for better or worse. Our words and actions will either build up others or tear them down. They’ll either spread the hope of God or hinder His work. Our words can give life or death (Proverbs 18:21). Our split-second decisions can confuse or even tempt others to do the same (Romans 14:21; 15:1-2; 1 Corinthians 8:13).
6. Who will I please?
Before receiving Jesus into our lives, we made decisions based on our own judgment or that of others. When we became Christians, we gave Jesus our allegiance (2 Timothy 2:4). When we do what He says is right, instead of what feels right, we please Him (Romans 8:8). We yield ourselves to His desires, His interests, His definitions of right and wrong. Basically, we do what He wants us to do. Even Christ did not please himself; instead, He did whatever pleased the Father (John 8:28-29; Romans 15:3). We follow His example.
7. How can I show God’s love?
Choosing to do what’s right, instead of what’s popular, doesn’t mean we have to be obnoxious, judgmental, or rude. We can make our decision and, if necessary, state our reason, all the while showing the gentleness of our example, Jesus Christ. When we make the right choice but express it in the wrong way, we accomplish the opposite of what God wants—for all to see Jesus through us and be drawn to Him now and for all eternity (Proverbs 12:18; 13:3; Colossians 4:6).
I slept soundly that night. Having a clear conscience has a way of doing that. The truth always sets us free (John 8:32).
Finally, brothers and sisters, we taught you how to live in a way that pleases God. In fact, that is how you are living. In the name of the Lord Jesus we ask and beg you to do it more and more. (1 Thessalonians 4:1)
Come alongside… Have you ever had to stand up for your beliefs? How did it go? If you haven’t had to stand up for your beliefs, what do you think would be most difficult for you? How can you prepare in the event that you will have to do so in the future? Tell us about it below in the box that says, “Leave a Reply.”
