Book Review: Still Looking by Vicki Huffman
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When I first submitted my family’s unemployment story to Vicki Huffman, I offered to write a review of her book once it was completed. Only God knew the reason and the season in which I would need to read the inspirational words in Still Looking: Finding the Peace of God in Job Loss.
When I received Vicki’s book to review several months later, my husband had been once again laid off for no fault of his own. Already, four weeks had passed since the day he showed up for work at his industrial construction job on a Monday morning and everyone had been let go. We were just starting to go through the familiar emotional, practical, and even spiritual fallouts of losing a job when I received the book. As I read through her family’s struggles with job loss—eight in all, I kept tapping the pages of my electronic book reader, saying:
“Yes! That’s exactly how I feel. That’s exactly how my husband is responding.”
Vicki was able to tap into those feelings not only from her own family’s experiences but also by citing renowned psychologists, experts, and everyday people who had the dubious honor of being unemployed at one time or another. She compared unemployment and job loss to the stages of grief and how those who are unemployed—for whatever reason—face similar feelings as those who have experienced loss of any kind—health death, divorce, to name a few. Vicki walks readers through the stages of grief, helping them to see the connections with job loss and how they eventually can move forward with the help of God.
As I read Still Looking, I began to see stages of grief in my own life—but for different reasons. Last year, I resigned from my corporate job at a Fortune 500 company to become a stay-at-home mom of our three children whom we adopted. Although a joyous occasion for my husband and me—and for our children, I felt the loss of fellowship with coworkers, usefulness and productivity that come from completing projects, and the accolades that accompany great work. I was able to see and work through these issues by reading Vicki’s book. She also helped me to understand the pros and cons of women working outside or inside the home, depending on their circumstances.
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In addition to the emotional issues accompanying unemployment, Vicki offered practical and spiritual insight for times of job loss. She gave tips on how spouses can help and affirm each other during unemployment. As I re-read our own stories that we submitted to Vicki, it reminded me of the many ways my husband and I have supported each other during these times and how we can continue to do so.
Still Looking is filled with practical and spiritual insight on how to spend time during job loss, as well as other considerations that accompany unemployment, such as the possibilities of relocating and self-employment. Vicki also offers a unique perspective for those who are older and find themselves unemployed.
I especially liked the “P.S.—Post Job Script” sections that summarized each chapter and provided practical tips on how to move forward in recovery from unemployment. The “Peace to You” sections encouraged me with biblical passages and reminders of the peace of God when money is tight.
Oftentimes, books on difficult subjects tend to provide trite answers. Not so with Still Looking. It is fresh and original; Vicki Huffman has been there and she gets it.
From beginning to end, Vicki shows the joys of growing closer to God during times of financial strain. She is a great example of finding true peace during unemployment.
If I had one critique, it would be this: I would have liked for the book to include a set of study questions, whether at the end of each chapter or at the end of the book. That way, readers could work through the issues in each chapter more readily.
Regardless, I highly recommend Vicki Huffman’s Still Looking: Finding the Peace of God in Job Loss. It is a great tool to help readers through the valleys of unemployment—not once, but as in our case, several times. Still Looking is ideal for anyone who has a job and feels like it may be time to move on to another job or season in life, or they sense that unemployment might be imminent. It is a great resource for Bible study groups; readers can use it by themselves, with a mentor or counselor, or in a small group format. People in recovery groups also could benefit from it. The book also would be a great gift for someone working through issues of financial struggle.
Still Looking: Finding the Peace of God in Job Loss
Be blessed!
Come alongside… Have you experienced job loss? How have you dealt with it? Share in the comments below.
Guest Blogger: The High Cost of Over-Commitment by Dr. Melanie Wilson
I am so honored to have Dr. Melanie Wilson as my guest blogger this month. She is a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mom of six. She is the author of So You’re Not Wonder Woman, the story of psychology’s failure to change her life and how she discovered the Super Power for being fit, organized, and joyful. Melanie also authors the blogs, Not Wonder Woman and Motivated Homeschooler, where she offers tips, how to’s, and inspiration for Wonder Woman wannabes.
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The High Cost of Over-Commitment
by Dr. Melanie Wilson
When Daphne asked me to write a guest post on over-commitment, I had to laugh. I was in the midst of one of the most busy, stressful months of my life. When I tried to explain to family and friends just what was keeping me so preoccupied, I was at a loss for words. “Just trust me,” I said, “it’s been crazy.”
This particular period of craziness has helped me admit that over-commitment is no laughing matter. Some of the serious side effects of too many time demands include:
Less time with the Lord.
I list this consequence first because it can have the biggest negative impact. Giving up time in prayer means you go longer between times of confession. It means you try to succeed in your own strength. During one of the particularly stressful events I was involved in this month, a godly man reassured me that God was going to make everything go smoothly because he had been praying about it for months. Unlike this man, I was spending less time in prayer and was anxious as a result. Giving up time in God’s Word means potentially forgetting the big picture. It means you start to think of yourself as being more important than you really are. I saw this error in myself as I tried to relate what a “big deal” my time demands were to others.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. (Romans 12: 3)
Less time with family.
The more important outside demands on your time become, the less important your family members are to you. We may try to excuse our absence and inattentiveness with the temporary nature of our schedules, but when over-commitment becomes a habit, relationships suffer. Now that my busy time is over, my son keeps asking me, “Where ya goin’, Mom?” even though I’m staying home. While I’m not the most important person in the world, I’m very important to my family. When I’m not there, physically or emotionally, there’s a difference. One key negative change has been more bickering amongst the kids.
Irritability.
When we have no time to relax, we can often be short with the people we love most. We can be rude to people we don’t even know. We’re bad witnesses and worst of all, we feel justified in being cranky. I have to admit that because I had so much to do this past month, I expected people to be especially nice to me. Being crabby and expecting people to be sweet in return is foolish, especially when we’ve contributed to our circumstances.
Break in routines.
Regular times with God and family aren’t the only habits we tend to throw out during our busy times. Exercise, sleep, eating, and work schedules may all be changed drastically as we try to get it all done. The consequence is often getting sick and getting even less done than normal.
Failure.
Whether it’s forgetting something or just performing poorly, the consequence of trying to keep too many plates spinning is that something’s going to crash. When we depart from Kentucky Fried Chicken’s motto and try to do more than one thing really well, we’re likely to be disappointed. Even though I didn’t feel that I failed this last month, I’m not happy with my performance. I know I could have done better if I had been doing less.
Exhaustion.
Just because you manage to do it all without many disasters, it doesn’t mean you’re safe at home. The stress you’ve endured can lead to days of fatigue that can lead to illness and malaise. Although my commitments are over, I would still like to lie in bed undisturbed for a week. That leads me to a final side effect of over-commitment.
A long re-entry period.
The consequences of doing too much aren’t limited to your busy time. While you’ve been going, going, going, your regular responsibilities have been piling up. You’ll have to expend even more energy getting back on track at a time when that’s the last thing you feel like doing. More than one woman has found a period of over-commitment to be her downfall in maintaining a healthy eating plan, exercise schedule, or other positive routine. Right now I’m feeling the full effects of over-commitment hangover and I do NOT want to feel this way again.
I hope you agree with me that over-commitment just isn’t worth the cost and you’d like to do something about it. In my next post, we’ll look at why we tend to over-commit and how we can avoid it.
Have you had the same experience with over-commitment that I have? What has it cost you?
